Living under Gunpoint…

Living with an abusive husband is like living at gunpoint… he might get angry and fire his armed weapon anytime. The only difference is that his armed weapon is perpetually attached to him, literally… his fist, tongue, his petrifying eye contact… The weapons are many and the bullets are even more... humiliation, criticism, threat to... Continue Reading →

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Writing about Anger sometimes sets you free… and sometimes …

I haven’t posted anything in a while and that’s not because I’m lazy nor that I do not have anything to write about, on the contrary I have been writing a lot, …  it’s just that I cannot get myself to reread my writings. It makes me feel so weak and pathetic with petty repetitive... Continue Reading →

A Stay-at-Home-Mom going Insane

It is difficult for people to comprehend, how lonely one gets when you are surrounded by people most of the time (well little people)… and how is it that I want to run away from the ones I cannot imagine living without? But is it mentally and emotionally exhausting and I don't even feel like... Continue Reading →

Married Single Parent … lost in that space in-between

Although we have been together for over a decade, raised children and shared a home, I don't believe we ever really had a marriage... we have never had a we or us relationship, never a unified position! It wasn't until recently that I was able to truly really admit that to myself that I have been waiting for this... Continue Reading →

The awkwardness of reconnecting…

It is very strange when you grow close to someone and then you suddenly detach, and the more time passes the more awkward it becomes to randomly get in touch again. He used a word a couple of months back… disconnect... and what a descriptive word it is. As harmless as it may seam, it carries... Continue Reading →

Flashbacks of my Infidelity…

Two weeks have passed and I think it is finally sinking in. It was my first time with anyone else in 14 years... and it took almost 14 days for it to start to soak in and feel real. He’s my first kiss, my first fuck and my first (and probably last) crush during my marriage. I never thought... Continue Reading →

Stay or Leave a Cold Marriage?

Would you rather stay in a marriage for the sake of your children, a marriage where you lack intimacy and passion and where you do not get to show your kids what a healthy loving relationship looks like and maybe expand you family for the better interest of your child or would you rather leave... Continue Reading →

Someone who loved me better

I could’ve been with someone who didn’t make me feel so unhappy and suppressed all the time. I could’ve been with a person who treated me well, which I have learnt is apparently a right not a privilege. I could’ve had something better with someone who loved me better. I should've been in an non-abusive non-threatening... Continue Reading →

Relationships Cycle vs Mine

Everyone changes over time and so do marriages. The cycles in marriages could either bring a couple closer together or makes them grow more distant. Although we get into relationships thinking they should be the securest and most reliable entity, they are very precarious... just one wrong turn and they go down... A healthy cycle... Continue Reading →

A weekend without him…

He left and I can breath... the colours of the apartment changed, that smoggy cloud that hazed up the place and this heavy halo suffocating me slowly faded away! It’s just for three days, but I could use three days of vivid light and weightless oxygen. I own my space and time without a judgmental... Continue Reading →

Why do we bring Children into this World?

In his book, Born A Crime, Trevor Noah the comedian talks about his mother. He says that she wanted to have a child to experience unconditional love; growing up she didn’t feel loved by her parents and she wanted to be unconditionally loved. Different people have children for different reason, which runs through the complete... Continue Reading →

I cried when he touched me…

I only wanted to say no, but didn’t… I couldn’t stop imagining his reaction to the rejection... the looks of anger and disappointment after... the guilt trips; that I am turning every good moment into a negative... the blame; that I am the one who doesn’t want or know how to enjoy the moment. I... Continue Reading →

Virtually Violated

Around two weeks back this girl contacted me via Instagram ... She started by talking to me about this guy I knew... I went to high school with, and claimed is a common friend on Instagram… the conversation seemed pretty random and innocent until it wasn’t. He ... was a grade older and we never... Continue Reading →

The Road to Ultimate Happiness from Within

I get it, I get it... So ultimate ‘happiness from within’ is reaching a state of complete non-dependency from all external emotional, physical and materialistic needs... Wait what?!? So in order to achieve that, we need to abstain from every craving we have! Or do we need to turn every craving to a mere want,... Continue Reading →

The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

Every since I was a child I have tried to explain my strange relationship with mother, a guilt-filled love-hate relationship. Although one’s life is their own choices and they have to own up to them, I believe that the way children are nurtured is what makes them who they are; their decisions, attitude, fears, cravings, interactions, how they express or understand love, … all of it is a result of how they were raised and their relationship with their parents. They shape them!! So people are an accumulated result of their ancestors and the tree goes back to the beginning of humanity and that is the only reason why anyone can say that life is predetermined and one’s fate is already written. Thus, if a divine power has knowledge of all the humans ever lived, by default they would easily know, putting aside the complexity of the matrix of course, how people’s life would turn out to be!

So she cannot really bare the burden of who I am, it’s it my entire line of ancestors, both maternal and paternal who have shaped who I am.

MakeItUltra™

By Dr. Perry, PhD


“Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try and do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.” ~D.G. Kaye

It is an understatement to state that parenting is difficult. It is perhaps the only job a person can get that is full-time and for life without having all the requisite skills and qualifications. The responsibility is great. One must equip a child with all the necessary tools they will need in adulthood to forge their own lives. It is a self-less relationship that most parents take great pride in. From the moment their child is born, the child becomes the focal point of the family unit. While this is a non-issue to most couples, what happens when one of the parents lacks empathy and is unable to see the importance in anyone else’s feelings or interests?

Perhaps you were raised by…

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Do Parents really forgive? .. mine doesn’t!

They say parents are the most forgiving, and their love for you is unconditional, but I think the most hidden truth is that some parents do not forget their children’s fuck-ups no matter how much they change or make amends. Anytime something small slips, the whole history comes to surface. My mother remembers every single... Continue Reading →

Uncomfortably Frozen

Seeing the wife was the strangest encounter ever.. I kept telling myself nothing happened and probably nothing will ever happen, so to convince myself that nothing should be or feel so awkward! But it still was.. I wasn’t myself and probably was this obnoxious person, that she had no idea why is talking or sitting... Continue Reading →

Another child to my broken marriage

I projected my life on someone... I know, I know ...I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know if people with drama and issues in their lives should even be allowed to give advise, because somehow there has to be even a small ounce of projection in there! And that is probably what I did even... Continue Reading →

Sister Trouble

Having a sister is supposed to be the most amazing thing ever, specially if you're close in age... you get to share closets, go shopping together, talk about boyfriends and crushes and husbands and family drama! Help each other out when in need... yeah ... would she ever!! Probably, having our mother complain to each... Continue Reading →

Giving someone their Space

Giving someone space means that you are giving them away-time for themselves; time to reflect, decide, consider options and/or focus on themselves, without you being a distraction to their thoughts. And I am… I am honouring his need for disconnection, though it is tougher and stranger than I thought it would be, with the missing... Continue Reading →

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