I have been in tears all morning, thinking of what you think of me and what you made me think of myself. That i am a mindless, philosophy-less, immature shame of a wife. That i will and never accomplish anything because i have no focus. That i will never be appreciated nor respected by you. That you will always see me as this fragile caterpillar you helped get out of the cocoon and yet i am ungrateful and my mindfulness is still inside my babe home. That i come up with bold rebellious statements that disrespect your manhood. That i am draining and full of nothingness inside. That i have no mind or reason or accomplishments to dear to communicate with your mind and ideologies.
I have been emotionally, verbally and physically abused by you, with no apologies nor remorse and yet i have become so week and so pained to leave.
Why am i still here? What am i trying to prove, that i am in fact not empty? What makes me stay in this toxic environment that is holding me back? Or i am really worthless and deserve to be in this deep well of pain?