I cant help but get affected by the way u shake your head when i start talking. The despise on ur face when you hear anything i say is like a knife through my soul.
I hold my breath and start talking so fast to get my thoughts out, they come out crumbled and the words get tangled that i seem even more stupid than u make me feel. I feel like i am speech impaired where my thoughts and words do not aline.
Your come back is more terrifying than your look and disparaged my logic. Start interrupting when i try to defend my so solid argument. An argument which i invested in by reading and researching. Yes the words didn’t come out the way i wanted and my tone was so edgy and scared but you were supposed to be my advocate in this life not my judge. You were supposed to be my load bearing wall not my wrecking ball. I thought you were my sounding board not my shaming assessor.
What r u here to prove? that you r smart and well processed and i am not, that i cannot assess a situation and build an argument?
I carried this harsh look in my eyes to save face, but like always i went inside and the tears cant stop running down my face. How could i have said such dumb statements, why cant i talk like it is in my head. Maybe i did deserve your loathing and demeaning response.
Your very hurt wife