Do you remeber this trip? The one i was begging for for 6 years since we got married. The one you finally agreed to travel with me on when i was 7 months pregnant and made me stay half of it in a country i have already visited in a place i didn’t want to go, after years of telling me that i am not allowed to travel alone, nor with my girlfriends and didn’t want to travel with me. You made me pay for my ticket and half of my stay.
I took the plane from Dubai to Amsterdam to meet you there. You were so high when i got there i had to take care of you. The hotel room you picked was several stories high and u didnt even offer to carry my bag. You slept for hours and could barely walk when you were up. I went to see the city on my own. Walked to take pictures, which were my only blissful moments, coz if i stopped to take a picture when we were walking you would roll your eyes. Other than that, my resting places were in smoke filled cafes, u wanted to sit.
The next day we were to take a train from Amsterdam to Hambug, you were so high to cross the road we missed the first train. I had to pull both bags and convince you to move.
Anyways, the train ride was my resting space. In Hamburg we stayed at your friend and girlfriend’s place. Went in, i finally showered and changed and i was starving. I am pregnant remember!! You and him went down to get some food, and oh boy was i on your mind when you did. You got meat sandwiches. “Oh wait i got you something too, they had that wired looking vegetarian sandwich”. The sandwich was terrible so i didn’t eat, but who cares. You fell asleep, high again. So much for a romantic trip.
The nest day we took a train ride into the city and i really enjoyed the site seeing.
We stayed in Hamburg for a couple of days and then headed to your uncle’s house in a very very small village off of Stuttgart. There you to took me hiking through the woods with your cousin to show me ur childhood hikes. You were reminiscing about your childhood there and kept walking and walking, crossing dry rivers and going through tube like tunnels. Not once did you look back to hold my hand. I slipped and fell and acted so strong to probably convince him that i am no pampered sissy. My back was killing me and breath grew weaker and weaker so i got slower, but guess what you didn’t even notice.
At night you would leave me for hours and go upstairs to your uncle’s room. The language was definable a barrier. But, there i realised something i would have never imagined. Your Uncle is also sexist, he treats his wife a a slave or a nurse or some kind of second class human. As if he is her master, as if he is everyone’s master. Everyone is afraid of his reaction. i couldn’t grasp a breath during the days we were there.
I can imagine what you are thinking, why do you only remember only the bad stuff? Why do only see the darkness and the negativity. I could answer that in a million words, but in short, because no matter what i did on this trip to make you appreciate me and feel proud of the effort i have put into not being a pregnant burden, you still did and still do! But i do remember this:
And finally the trip i always wanted started. To Italy we head.
To be continued