I’m still learning

I’m still learning how to not have
expectations when u’re around
I plan alone and try not think
if ever u’re gonna join
I see u make arrangements
and wonder if u’ll ever ask me
to come along

 

I’m still learning not to care
Not to feel and not to show
I’m still learning how to leave
Or show u that i want u to go

 

I’m still learning not to talk to u
when i need
And learning how to be ok
that u never do and when u do
u screed

 

I’m still learning not to need u
Like u have never needed me
I’m still learning not to hurt
when i feel that i dont matter

 

But somehow
I have been waiting for you to care
To appreciate me for whomever
I am or am to be

 

I stayed for so long learning
how to make you love me
Now i am just learning to hate u
And love myself unconditionally

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