Can infidelity help a marriage survive?

While being in the midst of asking for separation and meanwhile liking and enjoying the company of another… I have been thinking about infidelity a lot… whether by a husband or a wife with single partners or for two married couples…

First of all, I should put it out there that I believe that it is completely and utterly unethical and unacceptable, and while sex is not the issue for me had my husband been cheating, intimacy is… Second, the reasons people cheat in marriages are countless… so I do not want to get into that…

However, what I started to ask myself is … whether or not infidelity might actually help the cheating partner stay in a marriage, no matter how dysfunctional it is or that sounds… And I am not talking here about people who have confidence issues nor narcissist who need to prove how lovable they are, neither am I talking about those pure selfish people who have no morals when it comes to their relationship….

I mean the one that entails having an actual love affair on the side that makes them happy… or generally people who seek to fill what they lack in their own marriages, whether physical urges or emotional, or simply sharing..

Sometimes the setup of a marriage is comfortable, familiar and/or livable, and no one wants to end up breaking up their family and breaking the children and spouse’s’ hearts… nonetheless, having a side relationship when the marriage is sexless or loveless or both will help make them stay…

It might help make the cheating partner more relaxed and ease some of the tension in the marriage, remove some of the resentment towards their spouses because they are simply treated better elsewhere. It could also be that they actually become more affectionate in their own marriages, meaning once the sex drive is aroused, when the person they are not cheating with is not around, the spouse becomes the next best thing. Additionally, and one of the most that makes sense, the guilt makes the cheater treat their souse better… In other words outsourcing their needs, without having to commit to anything.. Or.. Cheat to save their marriages…

After all, no one, well almost no one, enters into a relationship with the assumption that cheating is an option, neither cheated on nor cheating themselves, however, the statistic of infidelity shows that around 30% of partners cheated on the spouses; men and women.

Here’s a fun fact I read… men whose age ends in 9 are most likely to cheating… i.e. men who are about to cross a milestone age and specially 39’ers… but seriously, sometimes reaching any milestone or are going through a life-changing-experience might be more to cheating as well…

Another fun fact… men who cheated once, are 350% more likely to cheat again… shocker!!

A not so fun fact, that although men and women now cheat at the same rate… women’s infidelity is more, however not necessarily, likely to be on an emotional level… and by becoming emotionally invested in another person means she’s probably checked out or about to check out of her own marriage… don’t know where I stand with this though…

Anyhow, I genuinely believe that for either men or women, it’s defiantly a sign that the marriage should be over…

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One thought on “Can infidelity help a marriage survive?

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  1. I’ve wondered it myself for quite some time. I mean, I’m married to a man that I have known since I was 12. He’s amazing. Funny, smart, and my best friend. He’s also someone that hates cuddling or physical touching of any kind. He could go without sex … I usually have to bug him. That’s just who he is. I’m the opposite. And it’s a daily struggle to not feel lonely or neglected. It sucks sometimes. But, his ex-wife cheated on him and it destroyed him. I could never do that to him and hurt him in the same way. i also know his thoughts on an open marriage are hell-to-the-no. But it would be nice if society accepted monogamy as old-age and it be normal to get fulfillment from where you need it, if someone is lacking.

    Liked by 1 person

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