Even though in my head and with all rational I should believe he is wrong… that his words should not get to me… BUT THEY DO… I became what he perceived me to be…
It started by first trying to convince him of how wrong he is.. but he called that delusions of myself..
By time his words moved from hurt to tackling this place inside my heart that where I believe myself as incapable of accomplishing anything.
Had he been supportive maybe… had he believed in me perhaps..
But how does one make it with an opposite of a support system. A bringing down and draining system…!
I know I should not believe him, but I do..
I know I should not feel guilty, but I do..
The logical thing to do… is to eliminate the controlling variable .. but I’m scared of that too!