Drawn to Him

With lust and attraction for him on my mind .. it’s getting harder and harder not to get to see him and talk to him … to not want to kiss him every time we meet… I haven’t had that for anyone in the longest time and definitely not during my marriage.

There’s this unexpected and unexplainable allure and it’s getting stronger and stranger… more undefined for me to comprehend… a spark of energy that is making me more drawn to his words and longing for a touch.

I find myself sharing my thoughts, thoughts that usually stay in my head… i catch myself yearning over more time to spend with him! Fantasising about him more often than i should…

That type of passion and intimacy that would come out of letting myself go, with no boundaries, would not be one that i would be able to later keep a rein on with all will power…

I feel like i am trying to unconsciously seduce him.. to make us cross a limit we definitely, with all rational, should not want to cross. I keep thinking i might seem too pushy or needy and desperate just by contacting him. That he might want to keep his distance and i’m not letting him…

I so know that i should stop, lay back and keep my distance…!

But then he comes and says something so calming and sensitive in my stressed out life that makes this friendship one i do not want to compromise nor an attraction i want stay away from.

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