Virtually Sexual now turning Real

It was only all virtually sexual until that moment... it turned factual.. physical .. alive! It was actually happening ... and it felt nice, it felt right, but it was fast and incomplete and the setting was bad. He left and I went blank, worried about all the non-essential feelings I know don't matter; fear... Continue Reading →

Perfect Imperfections

I was at my weekly cards game with my three closest girl-friends from University. They were trying to convince me that I should start a photography business and that my husband through his critical destructive attitude has screwed my self-esteem throughout the years and they have seen how much I have changed... But anyways... I... Continue Reading →

What does it mean..?

What does it mean when u ask your spouse for a separation and he calls you spoilt and childish! What does it mean when you tell your parter you don't love him anymore he doesn't take you seriously? I told him in the presence of one of his best friends that I do not want to... Continue Reading →

Will you understand when I ask you to leave?

How will it be when I tell you to leave? Are going to be raging and angry and violent? Will you accuse and shame me for breaking us apart? Or will you understand? I picture your good byes and the blame in your eyes I imagine your pain and that i'd be breaking your heart... Continue Reading →

No more meaningless Sex with him

He came on to me last night... I was so horny yet frustrated at the same time. I did want to … but I didn’t want him… and we were not ok … He woke me up, from a wet erotic threesome dream, by kissing that special part right between the back of my ear and... Continue Reading →

Sharing Sexual Fantasies…

There are unbelievable highs and lows that come along trying new sexual practices and, for the longest time, mine have been locked in my own fantasy world. Aside from its morality, having recently unbagged the daemon that is exposing myself to another, my fantasy world has been coming out one by one. It’s absolutely wonderful... Continue Reading →

My Intervention!

I went down with my two best friends yesterday. They wanted to discuss me and my abusive marriage. It was so uncomfortable I had to chug two tequila shots and half a bottle of wine in the first 10mim just to get myself to listen. One of them has been recently divorced after an 8... Continue Reading →

Lonely and Distant

I woke up lonely today... It's not that I don’t have friends or family... but I feel alone in my thoughts and alone in my dreams... I feel remote and distant from the world surrounding me, like I don’t belong. I don’t belong in this house, in this marriage, nor in this environment… I am... Continue Reading →

Smile More Mum…

I usually ask my daughters questions about how they view me to help me understand myself and my relationship with them better. Me: What does mummy need to do more of? My five year old, without hesitation, told me that I need to smile more. She is right. Smiling plays a very important role in... Continue Reading →

Two-Day Yoga Retreat

I packed my bags and left... didn’t listen to his insults nor his commands of not to go. I needed this for me. I needed to breath; inhale life without the burdens or anxieties. I needed to switch off from the ugliness and cleanse my mind to be able to survive the next phase of... Continue Reading →

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