No more meaningless Sex with him

He came on to me last night… I was so horny yet frustrated at the same time. I did want to … but I didn’t want him… and we were not ok …

He woke me up, from a wet erotic threesome dream, by kissing that special part right between the back of my ear and my shoulder.

I could have played along like I used to and scratched that itch. I could have made him lick and eat me till I shivered between his lips… making him do exactly what I wanted. I could have made him fuck me till he couldn’t breath… I could have had him right where I wanted him and then some…

But… I gently rolled over and told him I want to sleepand and a while later I heard him jerk off in the bathroom.

I couldn’t get an eye shut after… laid there in bed, tossing and turning, still turned on and wet by the passionate dream I just had, yet scared that by turning him away, it would make him spiteful the whole day. After, what seemed like hours, I got up, found a mind and body burning class and went to sweat and drain the lustfulness out!


Damn… being in touch with my inner-self and aligning my emotional, physical and consciousness is starting to hurt my sexual life big time. I used to know how to shut that off, to just disengage from reality, shut all frontal lobe activities and only think of my primal instinct, but I guess this is the price to pay to a healthy mind. And I know it is the right thing to do; I defiantly do not want to give him the impression that I still desire or yearn for him and he would not understand that it would have been just meaningless sex.

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