Giving someone space means that you are giving them away-time for themselves; time to reflect, decide, consider options and/or focus on themselves, without you being a distraction to their thoughts. And I am… I am honouring his need for disconnection, though it is tougher and stranger than I thought it would be, with the missing and longing and uncertainty of whether it would be the same after. But I, by no means, want to be of any kind of distraction to his thoughts or focus or any part of his life… and I defiantly don’t want to be a means of confusion or diversion to his sought out path not now nor ever.
The hardest part of it though, is that he has become someone that I lean on for comfort, he became a safe zone, and so I do miss talking to him. I keep holding myself back from wanting to communicate and share and even lustfully fantasise about him… and I consciously distract myself, but then he finds his way into my dreams. It’s also tearing me up not being able to ask how he is and how he’s getting through, because, above all, I do want to be there for him and he does deserve to happy. But I am not taking it personally and I do totally respect it.
However, although it is requiring lots of patience and mindfulness, it could actually be good and healthy; this time apart. It is defiantly also giving me more time to think and reflect myself; on my own life and my own issues away from his wonderfully comfortable distraction. It is also helping to put things into perspective and remind me of my needed independence from outside sources; when unintentionally I realised that I am starting to depend on him for comfort and emotional support!
Both our lives have been complicated on their own; lost and deviated from the paths of passion and sucked up into their routine and responsibilities. We both met in a time of perplexity about our lives, and ended up both shrinking and distracting each other by each other.
But if there is a higher purpose for us meeting and connecting, I really wish that it wouldn’t be attained by us parting ways.
General Rules for giving someone space:
- Do not take it personally
- Get in touch with your own self
- Enjoy your emotional independence
- It does puts things into perspective
- Let yourself feel
- Respect the Space
- Distract yourself until it becomes a habit