Having a sister is supposed to be the most amazing thing ever, specially if you’re close in age… you get to share closets, go shopping together, talk about boyfriends and crushes and husbands and family drama! Help each other out when in need… yeah … would she ever!! Probably, having our mother complain to each of us about the other, drove a huge wedge between us…
But today … my dear old mother called me a jealous person, jealous of her! The person who is supposed to know me the most and love me unconditionally they say, called me envious and resentful! Me!!
My sister God bless her selfish soul has never been there for her, she barely calls her or spends time with her and never once has she run an errand for her, let alone go anywhere else, except if there is something in it for her… when she needs her to buy her something for example, so she takes her out to the stores! She knows how to suck money out of her every chance she gets and has no ounce of guilt doing that! She’s alone, She’s tired, She’s sad… . She would travel for days and leave the dog for my 70yr old mother to take feed, bath and walk!! Growing up, she would always do whatever the hell she wanted get away with, so it’s been a trend I guess! Yet I love her unconditionally regardless of her irresponsibility and self-centerness and I don’t care attitude. I was always been there for her and defended her to the world, alway!! I have her best interest in mind regardless how she is even to herself.
I, on the other hand would never dare and even now my mom counts every penny she ever lends me and compassion was never even on the table! As for my mother… I have never asked her to go out of her way for me, I have never asked her for anything really except to be nice to me and that I never got. She has always been harsh on me… maybe because I never put my foot down except once when I insisted to marry, and he turned out to be an ass and I am paying the price ever since!
My mother complains to me about her all the fucking time, it is nearly all she talks about aside from her hate towards my husband! And today I just had enough… my sister was on a month and a half trip in God knows which beach, doing I don’t know what, just spending money she does not own… good for her right… she came back to my mom’s to take the car and money and leave again! Mother said she wouldn’t give her the car this time or money… I said ok, but please if you do, do not complain to me about her again, seriously you paper and spoil her and never taught her the meaning of responsibility, and then complain.. She’s my sister and I don’t want to be in the middle of you both! But she did, and as soon as she saw my face she started whining about it! I told her it is not my business… she started screaming at me and then told me; you have always been jealous of herand kicked me out of the house!! Fucking amazing really!!
Well yes, then I did get jealous, jealous of the compassion she has for her and not me! Jealous of how actually strong she is to be able to take everything she needs from anyone and not feel an ounce of guilt, and still people find her charming and nice and loving! Jealous that she doesn’t have to bend over backwards and stretch the days and nights to make extra time to gain my mother’s love, it is just there. I went into the bathroom and cried like just like I did when I was a teenager living in her house and I realised it is not jealousy; it’s her unfairness that drives me insane!