A weekend without him…

He left and I can breath… the colours of the apartment changed, that smoggy cloud that hazed up the place and this heavy halo suffocating me slowly faded away!

It’s just for three days, but I could use three days of vivid light and weightless oxygen. I own my space and time without a judgmental eye nor fear of him jumping over to his angry side. I felt free. He is no longer around with his expectations and chronic disappointed mode to criticize or disparage or complain, but never really there when we need him! …and for three days I’m liberated from having to fake who I am or if I dare to let myself go I’d be scrutinized…

I’m ironically very sleepy and tired and can barely open my eyes, but sleeping even has a lighter feeling to it… I even slept naked without the fear of him thinking it’s for him!

Although he traveled and I’m stuck here with the kids and chores… etc, and I havent been abroad for more than a year and half, I’m ironically very much ok with that

Especially over the weekend, because the weekends are the worst and the scariest! People usually wish for the weekend to come so they’d rest and I could take a month without a break but no weekends! He always has an over load of expectations… he gets mad if the kids aren’t exactly how he wants them to be and blames me… he always expects a plan and is always angry or disappointed!

But this weekend is mine…

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