True to Myself…

Some people have an affair to be someone else or live a different life... some are merely bored or pissed of a current situation… some want to live some kind of fantasy... and others are just compensating what they lack in their real lives... ... but in some cases, that someone else and that somewhere else,... Continue Reading →

He lives on a cloud of recklessness…

As I was skimming through my emails one morning before getting out of bed, I found tickets booked for a trip to Germany for all four of us, him, the kids and myself. We had talked about it very very briefly about a month ago... about the possibility of traveling and when the kids have... Continue Reading →

Married to an addict… apparently

One of my husband’s best friends called me today morning telling me that we need find a solution for my husband’s drug addition. For the longest time, I was trying to avoid this conversation with anyone or the actual fact that this problem exists; specially because this was one conversation I never thought I would... Continue Reading →

In his Car

We bumped into each other at a coffee place in the morning and we chatted for like an hour and then he said that he had to go... and although I was really tired just a minute before and all I could think of is a bed, but I'm stuck at the other side of... Continue Reading →

Parenting Jealousy

I definitely spend more time with the kids than their father and by default I am the one who gives the most orders and says the most Nos. I am also the most tired the majority of the time to do the fun happy-go-lucky entertainment, in which I tend to also include parenting, and drowned by... Continue Reading →

Unfamiliar Territory…

I am currently in an unfamiliar territory. A territory where I have and am showing more of myself than I ever have... at times it feels comfortable and liberating and at others it is awfully scary. It is definitely nice to have a sexual partner to share with all the experiences I have never dared... Continue Reading →

Help or Let be…

When you sit and watch people’s faces in any place in the world, you feel that all humans are equally pathetic and lost and weak… American’s, Europeans, Arabs, Africans or Chinese … Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Agnostic or Atheists … White, Black, Brown or Red … Regardless of our race or religion or marital status, we... Continue Reading →

My Daughter’s Gymnastics trainer hit her…

For about a moth before her championship - under 7 years - she and her team have been training like crazy, 6 days a week, three hours each. It has been so hectic, taking her to training everyday and waiting for the three hours outside the hall for her to finish. Every day I ask... Continue Reading →

Married for the Kids…

Relationships, specially long-term ones are an investment... an investment of time, money, energy, trust, emotions..., and that is one of the reasons that couples dread getting out. It is devastating to call quits and file for bankruptcy, but if the investment is not yielding any of the required return, at one point one has to cut their... Continue Reading →

We met again.. Same place… less time…

So we met again... This time I asked for it, I was horny and I missed him! It took me an hour to gather my guts to text him, afraid of rejection maybe or scared that he had had gotten bored already or that I might seem desperate, specially since my breakdown last week. But... Continue Reading →

He lost our daughter at a fair the other day..

We had our yearly Christmas Bazaar at our high school; and it’s been a tradition to go to every year; a reunion and fun day with friends and kids and whatnot. The day started like every other weekend; him sleeping and me waking up with the girls, washing them up, breakfast, feeding, running after each... Continue Reading →

Processing my Vulnerability…

One thing I have to admit is that it was undeniably the most intense feeling I felt in the longest time or maybe ever; followed by a cyclone of convoluted emotions that even after my panic, I still cannot process and barely comprehend and it’s been a couple of days. So writing about it might... Continue Reading →

Panicking after Sex?

How can any sexual encounter be so conflicting and full of contradicting emotions that at my age, with all experiences and traumas and tornadoes, I have never experienced something as such before? It was the most frightening feeling ever… I’ll take a step back and trace the day or days preceding and leading to it…... Continue Reading →

In another Life…

I need you, I need one of those hugs that fill the soul with hope and love and warmth. I need someone who knows me, deepest and darkest and most vulnerable me. I need a support system and I know I’m never going to have one nor have anyone to tell me that it is... Continue Reading →

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