His death was like Therapy.. May he rest in peace

It was the most shocking news I have ever received. He rides motorcycles, but no not an accident, did drugs, but no not an overdose, he wasn’t even sick nor overly stressed. Athletic, positive, family person, loved by all… Last year like today a good friend of mine passed away at 39 years old. He... Continue Reading →

Who will Witness who they Truly are…

It takes a village to raise a child. Although that might not necessarily be 100% true, it would sure be nice. When and if I do find it, any kind of help is always appreciated and welcomed in my book. However, help is not it... I would have truly loved to have a village or... Continue Reading →

A Happy Morning..

For the past week or so, I have been trying to write about that morning together... because other than the physical part, it has been a tad uneasy! Not until I saw him for coffee today, I could at least try. Not that anything really happened or that we spent more time than usual together,... Continue Reading →

Taking Turns…

It was both of our daughters’ school orientation and I was dreading the fact that I’d see him there. His wife was out of town, which meant he would come alone and I was going alone anyways... but as wired as I thought it would be and how many people I knew that were going... Continue Reading →

The cycle of Abuse continues…

I woke up yesterday on my daughter’s cry... Apparently the nanny decided to wake her up herself a bit early and she was crying that she didn’t want her to do anything for, because she never does. He was sleeping next to me and he hasn’t been home for a couple days, spending the night... Continue Reading →

A Sight for Sore Eyes

The day I saw him after a long break he kissed me .. It, whatever this is, somehow has become more intense than even before we left it, although all trials of fading it out.. I missed him… I missed talking to him and kissing him and so much wanted to tell him about what... Continue Reading →

A Soothing Kiss

I decided to tone him off during the winter holidays... I was traveling with family and he with his... and it was the best opportunity to try make this lustful attachment fade out, because like he told me a few days before we left, “i’m trying really hard not fuck up our lives”. So yes,... Continue Reading →

He Screamed at my Baby…

One dinner night in Germany during the terrifying Germany trip we were at his uncle's. While we were all sitting on the dining table, after a fee hours of waiting for everyone so we would eat, our 4 year old was acting out and didn’t want to eat. She was tried and cranky and barely... Continue Reading →

Family Trip of Anger

So we went to Germany during the winter holidays, the trip from its start felt like a burden on me and I didn’t want to fight that too. Think positive I said to myself, the kids will have fun, they would see their family, it’s only a couple of weeks and it would be a... Continue Reading →

Violence Relapse…

It has been a year since his last physical abuse with me, but like so many have told me, if he did it once, he'll do it again. New years eve was our eldest daughter's birthday; turning 6. We have always had this tradition to go dress shopping that morning just me and her together,... Continue Reading →

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