I decided to tone him off during the winter holidays… I was traveling with family and he with his… and it was the best opportunity to try make this lustful attachment fade out, because like he told me a few days before we left, “i’m trying really hard not fuck up our lives”. So yes, let’s not make this fuck up our own lives; what relationship is ever worth hurting everyone around it and we have become somehow reckless and irrational and taking unnecessary risks… car rides, over sexting, meeting up more often than we should and yet disillusioned that no one will notice, it’s insane!
I was successful for the most part. A lot has been going on at my end during the vacation… with the kids and the husband and what was going on back home with my sister and parents and all that I managed to let the days slip by without contacting him and not thinking of him…until one day I did.
I was taking a walk with the kids this cold evening, we took a turn into this small alley and I looked up in this lit apartment I saw someone who reminded me of him… just thinking of him as I walked by felt so calming, just to see familiarity with all the chaos that’s been around me felt nice.. I guess I did miss him or at least the thought of him. Fortunately, I dreamt of him that night. Something about kids’ schools and exams results that was v stressful, but then he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me… a soothing kiss that melted my soul, I laid my head on his shoulder and it felt like home. The next morning, I woke up smiling and I wished him a good day wherever he was, good people deserve to be remembered and wished well..