He Burnt the Last String…

It was the last string and he managed to pull it, tear it and burn it…

It wasn’t about the car! It disclosed way much more… It revealed that I am and never will be his priority, and he will never appreciate me nor the effort I have put in this marriage and with the kids, that him being harsh and arrogant with me hurts so much more than I imagined, that my comfort means nothing to him, that my opinions do not matter, that he has more control over me than I wish to admit and that control means more to him than empathy or love or support, that his opinion matters out of fear of me being berated, that whatever I have invested in this marriage is gone, that he does not and never will show me respect, that his ego controls his reactions, that I will never forget nor forgive him for being abusive and that manifests in so much resentment towards him, that even in his weakest moments he is so damn cruel and in his kindest moments his arrogance negates it, which makes it so hard for me to show compassion or empathy or care, that nothing within my capabilities will be enough for him, that demeaning and humiliating me comes normal to him, that he is too blind to see how unhealthy this relationship has become…

So it wasn’t about getting a car; but it was my final sign that I would rather give up on trying to get anything out of him than be controlled for one more second!

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