Can Pride prevent a Parent from seeing his Children?

I don’t get how a father has such an ego to an extent not to see his kids… and such an audacity to claim that because I am the one who asked for the separation or as he so adversely puts it “kicked him out of the house and deprived him from sleeping in the same place as his kids, I should bare the burden and guilt of him not being in their lives”! He stated so vigorously that he is never to enter a place where he has been kicked out of? As a result, he refuses to come see them…

So it ends up that I am the one who puts in the effort and calls him, for the sake of the girls, to check his schedule and asked him when I can bring them over to him wherever he is… But, if I don’t, he doesn’t request it… nor does he text or call to ask about them!

However, he does manage to get over his pride and messages me when he wants something he forgot at home, or when he wants to force some sort of control… like telling me not to take the kids to the beach during their holiday or something of that sort…

Can pride be such a barrier as to prevent a parent from seeing their children and being in their lives?… Specially, that he claims that they are the most important in his life!!… Who is he punishing? Me or them or himself? If it were me; I would do every effort there is to see my girls, regardless of any pride… How on earth is that the same person who was crying like a baby the day I asked him to leave, breaking my heart over not going to be around the kids and whining that he will not be able to see them sleep or spend time with them in the morning! 

It is absolutely absurd… am I supposed to put up with his controlling and angry ways just for him to be involved?… am I supposed to bare a life I do not want, so that he could have a relationship with them?… should I be forced to live with him, so he could live with them? I even asked him to take them to live with him if he wanted to, he said he couldn’t take care of them. Is this his way of guilt tripping me for being the monster that broke up the family?

I have not once spoken ill about him to them or ever undermined him, on the contrary… I would never deny him his children nor them him… I want them to be proud of him and for him to be involved in their lives and their decisions and daily activities. I even bought them that watch with a phone, which I was totally against at this age, so that he would call them on it and them him, instead of going through mean me… which worked for a week or so and then nothing…

I really thought that once he was out, he would do more effort to see them not less… but sadly, he is starting to alienate himself from them and day by day they miss him and ask about them less and less and… I feel genuinely sorry for them and his guilt tripping maybe getting to me… I want them to have a father figure and for him to be a constant in their lives and have a close and meaningful relationship with them! How do I do that?? Force them on him or take him back?! 

One thought on “Can Pride prevent a Parent from seeing his Children?

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  1. You definitely do not take him back. This is part of his plan to guilt trip you into coming back. Using his children as the leverage is absolutely ridiculous. If he can’t make the effort to see them, he doesn’t deserve to see them. He is making excuses and extending his narcissistic narrative to his children, and using your escape as leverage on his fragile ego.

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