I decided to be happy and grateful at least just for the day. I decided to find pleasure in the tiny things around me. I decided not to complain about anything whatsoever and accept the suffering within me and around me as part of my journey today.
I decided that because, I woke up angry again; filled with anxiety from all the people in my life that I ended up babysitting alone, like my mother, sister, dog, kids and ironically their father… and I didn’t like it! I didn’t like myself in the angry and whiney shoes anymore.
I don’t want to seam needy or weak today and I do not want to dwell over all worst-case- scenarios that keep popping up in my head and confuse the hell of me… Most importantly, for today, I will not accept abuse of any kind.
I actually, on paper, have more capabilities and skills and degrees than a lot of people who assume self worth easily, but there has always been this bitch sitting on my shoulder telling me that my feelings and accomplishments are unimportant and immaterial to everyone and that I sound air-headed, stupid and silly whenever I say anything… but just for today I decided to tell her to go fuck herself elsewhere.
And maybe tomorrow I can do the same…