I have been trying to find words to describe that afternoon… It was certainly, passionate and erotic and hot, but it wasn’t just that, it was much more than just mundane sex. I was trying to make sense of it all, but today it struck me… You know that feeling you get when you step in your home after a long and stressful trip, this was it… he was it; it felt like HOME… he feels like home. And that explains the ache I got when he said he has to leave and then the void I felt the minute he did.
We decided to book a hotel room and that was probably the last line to be crossed. He would only be able to come for just a few hours and at the beginning I didn’t think it would be worth it to book a whole night for just a few hours and he might not even make it, but then I thought even if he doesn’t come, I could use a day off from my noisy life, take a break and enjoy some quality time by myself. So I went for it anyways.
The kids left with their father that very early morning and little bit after I packed a small bag, took my laptop, keys and left. Well I didn’t really know how to prepare for that… what to pack… what does one pack for a sex date? Lingerie, nothing, night gown… so I just took something that could work on all those levels.
As soon as I got out of the cab at the hotel, I got so jittery… I felt that everyone knew exactly what I was here for… I booked the room and on my way up I got a text from him that he’s on his way. Until then I didn’t know for sure whether he was going to make it or not… if he wanted to or not! I put on the black lace short nightgown I had packed earlier… I thought it was hot to put something sexy on, but when he knocked on the door I panicked, I thought it might be over doing it and put the hotel robe on. I went to open the door and for some off reason it was jammed. Although it took less than a minute to open, I freaked out, and while anxiously attempting to explain, he just leaned in and kissed me saying it doesn’t matter now… and from that second on, nothing but us did.
My defenses switched off, my anxieties and self-consciousness shut down and I was home. I had missed much more than I thought I did… we could once again smell each other… taste each other… and feel each other … I could once again look him in the eye without fearing my lust is showing…
For a person who usually remembers details, I cannot remember much specifics of what went on. But I do get flashbacks of his face, positions, and orgasms. I recall segments, like clips from a movie; his glaring eyes with lust as he went down on me, his fingers rolling down my back, the gentle touch of his lips, the sound of him moaning, him touching me, tasting my myself in his mouth, him vibrating inside me, tongues intertwined, thrusting inside me and stimulating hundreds of nerve ending for pleasure, shower scenes, wetness, gently turning me around, sucking him and the taste of his cum, eye locking, closeness, the feeling of his skin on my fingertips, his smell… and I reminisce on the high it brought me…
It wasn’t just a good fuck, being with him is passionate and intense and most of all filled with an overwhelming sense of calmness and safety…
He’s my first kiss, my first fuck and the first and only person I develop feelings for during my marriage. I never thought I’d ever feel like this for anyone anymore. I never thought I would share so much in common with someone. I never thought I would be so comfortable and naked with anyone. I never thought that cheating would be worth it, and giving myself to anyone else would feel right. I didn’t think that the sex would keep on being that dreamy and breathtaking (literally).
Although I knew he could not stay longer, I really wanted him to. I wanted some more time with him, who knows when or if this will ever happen again.
I was planning on inviting a few girlfriends over to spend the day on the pool and chill, but I decided to stay in the room and enjoy the silence and the peacefulness, and I did. I ended up having one of the best naps I ever had…. However, being in the same room where we were naked in just hours before was a bit overwhelming… the pillows and sheets smelled of him, everything inside reminded me that he was just here. I tried to read, but could barely concentrate on the words, instead ended up texting him, undoubtedly more than I should have and ended up feeling a bit cheap. I probably shouldn’t have contacted him at all.