My Best Friend of over 20 years tried to Kiss Me!

Later that night, one of my oldest friends called and wanted to talk, so I invited him over for some drinks at the bar downstairs in the hotel where I was staying… of course I had to make up a lie about why I was staying at a hotel while my apartment is kids-free for the weekend…

Anyways, we haven’t gone out in ages alone and it was nice to catch up. We talked about his ex-wife and the situation with the kids after divorce, we talked about the girl he liked and what do to about her, we talked about my sister and her fucked up choices and of course the given question of why I am I not divorced yet. We laughed and cried and 4 hours and two bottles of wine later I was beat… and as we were walking out he tried to kiss me! I pushed myself off of him and told him not to do that. It was totally unexpected and somewhat frightening! My best friend of over 20 years, a friend of my husband’s, he’s even close to my mother. Well, given that he probably was a bit drunk, I don’t think I’ll do anything about it, but fuck! Maybe there really aren’t any innocent friendships between men and women! Did I lead him on? Maybe that is why he has been persuading me towards divorce? And to be honest, it ruined the evening of a great day!!

Thinking back through the night, I think the problem started earlier, he complimented me way too much, and said something about how much we are so alike and that we should have ended up together instead… I should have stopped him as soon as it felt awkward for me, but what would I say? And frankly I never thought he’d take it that far ever…

Ever since high school, after more than a few awkward encounters and because I have a serious problem of saying NO(Seriously, I dated a couple just because I was embarrassed of letting them down), I think I built a subconscious wall of untouchable territory, so that no one even dares to approach me… The thing is, I do not like embarrassing or humiliating anyone; it makes me feel really awkward and snobbish and bitchy…

But, I didn’t want to live with my guards up all the time anymore and plus my self-esteem has been fucked up by years of a cruel marriage anyways, so I started to try and be more of myself around people a little lately, unfortunately hell broke loose on me… It’s like I am leading people on without even noticing…

Nevertheless, with strangers it is now easier… I learnt tricks to avoid them when I start to feel uncomfortable, but what should I do with friends… close friends? It is way more complicated, I really don’t want to embarrass anyone nor for them to feel self-conscious around me later, so I let things slide and tell myself; maybe they didn’t mean anything of it and I am just over exaggerating. But why should I? Why should I be the one feeling uncomfortable and distressed when they are the ones who are making unpleasant moves or saying unwanted remarks? and look where saying nothing early on brought me!

I really should learn not shy off from saying something the minute any conversation or encounter starts to feel uncomfortable or not right for me. I really have to learn to say NO, before it’s too late and it gets ugly and regardless how or what the other person intends… … and if the relationship is solid enough it should withstand my saying NO, right!. But how? What do I say?

Here’s what I found on How To Reject Someone Nicely, According To 10 Women Who Have Done It.

Any suggestions?… 

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