Although not all men are hunters, all women are prey and predators pick out easy prey! Therefore, if a man is not looking for a long-term relationship or just wants a quick fuck, the broken-hearted ones are one of the easiest preys to catch; along with girls with daddy/mommy issues, codependents and ones who recently suffered a loss, just to name a few… they are emotionally unstable, physiologically vulnerable and their bar of expectations is mostly set low.
Here is why when women are in an unhappy/passionless marriage or in the midst of separation or have just broken-up, they are usually an excellent target, a babe in the woods like they call it, for the men who do not want to or cannot commit:
- Vulnerability: Although thinking that they have things under control, such women are obviously vulnerable and probably looking for comfort in the wrong places; where a simple ear to listen and arms to hold might be enough offering, because there is also nothing much to offer in return. They might not even be interested in that man per se, but the comfort of the situation, feeling that they are listened to and understood, feeling that they are sought and wanted. In return, they reveal so much about themselves in a short time, encouraging men to use, abuse and dump them. A vulnerable women is in fact susceptible to all kinds of fucked-up men, not just the un-committing ones, but also: the narcissists who want to control the weak, the married who seek a spark, the ones who seek women out of their league, the players who just want to fuck, … and with just a little bit of charisma from the men, it is quite easy to lure them in.
- Lack of Sex Life: People usually think that because of bad marital issues or fucked up relationships, women in such a situation are sexually deprived or craving physical attention and attraction and we’ll jump the first guy she’ll see, which is not necessarily the case, but it is a good bet: Trouble at home, trouble in bed. And I do understand that… I understand the need to be with someone, to be held and caressed, the need for passion, the need to be lusted for… but in moments of weakness, it might also lead women in the wrong bed and it is, in fact, something a lot of hunting men play well with.
- No Commitment: It is easy to assume that when a women is going through or just came out of a rut, the last thing she is looking for is a committed relationship right away; which makes her the perfect target for the no-strings-attached or causal hook-ups scenario. It is defiantly way easier than trying to seduce a women who is in it for keeps. Although and unfortunately, most often than not, women do get attached to the saviour in some way.
- Low Self-esteem and Need for approval: When a women hasn’t been fully appreciated, validated, or respected in her relationship, when a women feels rejected and her self-esteem is broken, she is justifiably eager for someone to praise her for being who she is, to compliment her on herself, to make her feel wanted and liked… It makes sense that she tends to believe anyone who shows her even a glimpse of the appreciation she’s been missing out on, and it wouldn’t take much effort from the seducer to do so either, sometimes just any kind of affirmations works. From the other side, as long as it is never going to be a long-term thing, some men would say anything to get her in bed and mostly anything works!
- Need for Happiness: We are all seeking happiness someway somewhere or the other… and when after great misery or boredom or lack of passion you find someone who makes you just a tad happy, even for a day, you can so easily overlook the faults or signs or the incompatibilities, you make yourself believe that they are exactly what you need them to be…
I have seen so many fall into that trap. I have seen so many girls and women fall in the arms or beds or relationships with men who caught them off guard in moments of weakness. After that, they wonder why that happened and what went wrong and how they were so blind not to see that they are being fooled, not only by the men, but by their own deception of the situation.
Sometimes, just sometimes… some men are targeted the same way as well…
And now comes the dark question I have dared to ask myself: Was it because I was a broken-heart he found it easy to pursue me? Is that who I was: an easy prey? Is that who I sought and easy prey as well?