We didn’t meet again since that last time at the hotel room until a couple of weeks ago. We would briefly catch up through texting or sexting from time to time; him traveling with his family and I, with all the incidents and events over the past couple of months.
Ironically, the first time we would meet would be at our daughters’ school orientation. Although, it is supposedly my comfort zone; the school where I grew up, I felt was so anxious and awkward about seeing him there.
When I walked in, he was already there, sitting with his wife and friends, I didn’t dare to say hi except from afar and with a pounding heart I had to force myself not to look his way. I went and sat next to my mother-in-law, who only came because her son couldn’t make it and thank God for that, that would have been even more awkward. We sat quite far away from each other, but I could still see him and every now and then I would steel a glance of him or catch him looking at me… We also stood and chatted after the orientation casually while booking for the bus and during the brief encounters, but awkward it sure was. I tried to be as cautious as possible, wives sense things like that.
By the end of the assembly, we found out that our daughters ended up in the same class together, a class that stays together for 6 years!
At that moment I felt that someone up there is playing a very nasty prank on me or my life’s compass has taking the strangest of turns! What are the chances of that happening? How is it possible that out of all the men out there, I would meet and fall for a person whose daughter ends up in the same class with mine.
Seriously, what are the odds?? We do not run in the same circle… we don’t live in the same neighbourhood… we have no common friends… two years ago, I didn’t even know him, and not only our daughters end up in the same school, but the same class! This is going to be a whole other ball game; over the coming 6 years we will be seeing each other during family gatherings, school meetings, play dates and birthdays. Our spouses, who were nothing but names for both of us, become real people that we would have to deal with. Not that my girls’ father is that involved in their school life, but still.
Since then, every following encounter with him has in fact been a family one. After the school orientation, came the parents meeting and then came his daughter’s birthday. Both of which was just as awkward if not more, and I was just as anxious to be in the same room as him, not to mention with our spouses. I had to forcibly try to block the part of my brain that ever saw him naked.
During the parents meeting, my husband was there and that was the first time ever, both would be in the same space. He seamed very stressed that day… and it was strange being in the same place and not being able to ask how he is or what’s wrong. My husband on the other hand was in his utmost comfort zone, it being his school as well and we already have our eldest daughter there, so he was making jokes and being his very self, which drove me nuts. The meeting took forever and by the end, we had to vote a parent representative to be the middle-man between the school and the parents. It was something I would never have thought of doing if not for the circumstances. Non of the other parents wanted to the role and it just drove the meeting longer, so when some of the parents pressured me, I so reluctantly agreed, just to get it over with, because all I wanted with all my being is to get out of there.
The birthday was a few days after (last Saturday), I wasn’t going to go, but a big part of me wanted to see him. I figured that both him and his wife would mostly be busy with the guests, it would be easier, so I went. The minute I got in, he was the first person I laid eyes on, but I looked the other way and went directly to say hi to the wife and kid and had a small chat about the gift. Shortly after, our eyes met and I got up to say hi. For the rest of the birthday I sat enjoying a nice glass of wine with some of the new parents I got to know and old school mates. We shared a few looks and that was it, but by the end I couldn’t breath. Part of me looked at the wife and felt so strange that I shared her husband and the other part looked at him and felt every part of my body screaming for his touch… I missed him…
I miss our talks and discussions and sharing thoughts with him… I miss his voice and that grin of a sarcastic smile when I say something that doesn’t make sense to him… I miss his touch and smell and lust… I miss his skin on mine, his fingertips rolling down my back and the sensation of his lips… I cant stop longing for him… wanting to see him… missing being naked with him… I miss the comfort and the passion I feel when I’m with him, a level of comfortless that most definitely does not come much often in life… But at that moment, what I mostly missed was to be able to look him in the eye, not just steal a glance.
After each time we met, we would chat and laugh about the likelihood of all that… and he seams to take it so slightly, although all rational entails that we must stop seeing each other. It is certainly getting too dangerous for both of us…!