Sex for my own Validation…

Following up on my last post Releasing my Sexual Energy with a Friend. He passed by again the following night… it was a much smoother conversation, albeit filled with sexual insinuations. Although, I had no idea how it was going to go, nonetheless, I did think about it and plan for it just in case we did fuck…

I had also weighed the risks of crossing our friendship line.

Maybe it won’t be good sex and the friendship will be awkward, maybe I would want more and he wouldn’t be interested, maybe he freaks out after, maybe he would develop feelings and defiantly this is not what I was going for.

I knew what this was for… It wasn’t for a relationship nor was it because I couldn’t get laid in general. It wasn’t that I was uncontrollably horny, neither was it for intimacy nor passion nor love… but it defiantly was to fulfil a confidence void. This was sex for my own validation. He wasn’t easily attainable, on the contrary, unapproachable and breaking him would make me feel better about myself. Also, he had just come out of a marriage with, according to him, terrible sex for years; passionless and bland, so I could easily awe him and I could use this wawing effect… the reassurance, the attention, this … It was an overall and interesting challenge.

We drank again that night… however, the conversation kept getting longer and longer and I started to become hornier and tired of waiting… I think he was shy and embarrassed to make the first move.

We talked about how women should start to understand their power over men and own that; own their sexuality… a subject I am very passionate about. As I was talking I kept getting closer, softer with gentle touches and lustful words…

I realised I was getting tipsy and frustrated and I don’t like getting drunk, so I had to do something before alcohol took the lead, so I stopped the conversation and laid my head on his knee with my lips close to his skin, till he finally started to gently stroke my back…

I got up and kissed him, took his hands and led him to a bedroom and closed the door.

He was fucking hard to break, but I finally broke him… Yes, I ended up doing the first move, but he was ready! He was being touchy with lusting eye, staring at my thigh through my open skirt…he was melting… but it was late and I couldn’t wait any longer for a better move! it’s been two nights, too long to break a guy I would have to say… but given that we’re good friends, our kids are school friends and neighbours, we knew each other’s ex-partners… I would say I did ok.

Sex that night wasn’t the best, it seamed like he hasn’t seen a pussy nor boobs for a very long time, and hasn’t done this in forever; he was in awe…

I took off my top, laid on the bed and signalled him to come closer… He was more nervous than horny, I think. I tried to ease his apprehension, I kissed him again, bit his lips and gently scratched his back with my nails…

He came closer and started to kiss my neck and back… going down my lower back… he then pulled the skirt up…as he was kissing me down my legs I found myself smiling. I broke him and I could so easily just stop here. He was so turned on that he would do anything for me now and I did that.

He went up and took off my bra and held my breasts. He had a good grip, kissed my nipples and sucked on them… but as if he was afraid he’d break me. I led his hands into my panties, by then I had taken off the skirt somehow; “Are you going to make me cum” I asked. He took off my panties and went down on me… not long after, his fingers were in my pussy… when I attempted to touch his dick … he stopped me… I think he wanted me to cum first. I had never faked it before in my life… but this was an exception I wanted to break, I really wanted his dick in me and didn’t mind if he came fast. This wasn’t for my pleaasure.

I moved and got on top of him… kissed and bit on his nipples, and stuck his dick in me.

How are so good at this”, he asked… “I like it”, I said… and fuck yes I do, I’m more comfortable naked than I am with any clothes on. “But I haven’t done anything yet”, I thought to myself; “this is going to be fun”. I don’t know what he liked, the confidence in bed, the moans, the words I used, movements…

We changed positions a couple of times until he asked if he could cum inside, when I gave him the green light, that got him even hornier. He started sucking on my boobs again… kissing me… and kept fucking me till he came…

His size made up for the lack of practice or sexual confidence that night. But it didn’t matter I controlled him… and that was enough turn on for me for now!

I am even usually still a little horny after sex… but that night I was done… I just wanted him to leave. I got dressed, went out to tidy up and said good-bye… I don’t even remember if he left before I went in to sleep or after…

When I woke up, I found a text he had sent earlier, so worried that I was feeling bad about last night. Little did he know, I woke up thinking… I found myself an emergency lay. He lives close by and we have already crossed this line. I probably will abuse this and I did… a lot.

We fucked around 5 times this very week. We fucked until I was content… He also way more confident and light years better than the first time, he was harder and more in control and it lasted more and more each time. We fucked until he opened up… talking dirty, butt slapping and scratching, blowjobs and pussy licking… We fucked and danced and drank and ordered midnight munchies and talked a lot… with a lot of that confidence boost I needed.

He told me that he had the hots for me long ago… that this is mind blowing sex he never knew existed… that had never gotten a blowjob or had his dick touched in such a way before… that he always found me sexy and cute and hot and smart… that I had no idea how men react when I enter a room and how intimidating I am for both men and women… that I needed to understand my worth…

By the end of the sex filled week I finally felt relaxed… my mind was relaxed, my libido was relaxed. I didn’t have this need to please everyone around me, for my need for confidence and reassurance has been satisfied… for now! My mind could finally focus on my life, my self, my goals…

Nevertheless, the best part of this is, our friendship hasn’t been affected at all. He is someone I would never fall for and hopefully he wouldn’t for me. We talk as if we don’t fuck on the side.

It was a good arrangement and I finally found someone to release my seductive sexual energy with when I needed to.

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