Being there for Him… Forcing him to let go…

I knew I had to back off… it was getting too complicated lately and I didn’t want to use him like that anymore… he started saying things like “I missed you” and “I don’t know how we could stop” and “You’re addictive”.

As flattering as that is, I didn’t want him to miss me… and certainly I didn’t want to be addictive; being addicted to something means that he wouldn’t stop it even if he wanted to… and I didn’t want to be that to him… a substance! He was starting to put unreal weight to something that we both knew isn’t real.

Though that night I wasn’t in the mood, after a game night with friends, as we were going down the elevator together, he started getting touchy and we decided to go back to his place for a movie. Him living across the street from me and on his own without his kids, makes it quite easy to fuck whenever the chance represents itself…

Nevertheless, I couldn’t keep my mind off that explosion of orgasm I had a few days ago with someone else, how much I let go of all my inhibitions. I couldn’t stop remembering how fucking incredible it was; that level of intensity, that passion, that connection, that I would probably never find with anyone else. I couldn’t stop pondering over how much I wanted to be with a person I could never be with, could never see or call or fuck whenever I wanted to.

By the middle of the movie, his hands were all over me, stroking me… my arms, neck, hair… I tried to reciprocate, but I just knew that no matter what he did, what I did, I’m not going to be that turned on. I won’t reach that place again.

Although this usually is a good distraction, I just didn’t…

So I decided to be there for him.

But, he kept looking at me, touching me, feeling me up… wanting to attempt to please and I couldn’t just let him watch me think about someone else… it felt uncomfortable…

So I took off my top and blindfolded him with it. It was as if that that was the kinkiest he’d ever done, poor guy. It was also something he has never experienced, having someone be there for him only. He liked it, but didn’t know what to do… or probably didn’t understand that he should be doing nothing!

The thing about being blindfolded, not only does it heightens the senses and one becomes sensitive to every stimuli, it also builds up anticipation and excitement for every change of movement, it builds more arousal and excitement with every touch and most importantly it makes you loose control…

At that point we were both still dressed, so I started taking off his clothes bit by bit, kissing every part as it revealed, gently moving my tongue on different parts of him, but making sure the blindfold stayed on. I played around, teasing him… a kiss on his neck, tracing the edges of his lips with my fingers, running my hands randomly up and down his skin, licking his thighs, flirting with his dick, a sudden pinch to his ears and bite to his nipples… With ever touch, he sighed, with ever bite he moaned and every time my tongue touched him… he was melting… and I enjoyed his excitement and continued to surprise him…

He kept trying to touch me … I took both his hands and placed them above his head… “you want to dominate me” he said and I wasn’t! I could, but I wasn’t. I was doing something therapeutic, not role-playing… I wanted him learn to accept receiving pleasure, to relax and let go and enjoy it and frankly didn’t want him touching me.

I licked and stroked and sucked him… still surprising him with unexpected touches. He was so hard, but I could feel him resisting to cum… he wouldn’t let go. It was like it was embedded in him that he has to be the one to please. Like he’s not allowed to enjoy this alone and I knew where he came from, I understood his struggle…

I then took off my clothes and got on top his chest… then smoothly slid my body down his and gently put his dick inside me and sat on him until his dick was all in… between going slowly and fast, getting of and putting it in me over and over… pushing my body on him and letting go, squeezing his dick inside me. He was grasping for air… Until he finally told me he’s cuming and doesn’t want to cum first. I leaned in and whispered in his ear to let go… to cum for me… until he did. He exploded! He finally let go and it took him a few minutes for his heart to stop pounding afterward.

I got up and dressed and handed him his shorts to get dressed as well, for him to understand that this is over. That he still has to do nothing, only enjoy this. He could barely move… he looked happy… and I liked that!

We stayed for an hour talking after. He opened up a lot. About his parents passing away, about his ex-wife and how loosing her was like loosing his family all over again. He expressed that ever since the divorce, he’s been trying fill the voids in his life, by dating and taking care of his friends and drinking and partying… and now us screwing. I told him, that it is very obvious that he had a problem with letting go, accepting that we are not in control. I advised him to take that weekend and empty his head, let himself grief, be there for himself and try to absorb his life, scream it or cry it or dance it… be there for himself for a change!

As for me, I decided to back off… at least for time being. I think I should use my own advice; also take a step back and breath and think of what I really want, what I really need!

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