Laying in my bed after he left, the same bed he was just on, smelling him on my pillow and on my sheets… in awe of what just happened. I could still feel his lips on me, his hands upon me, his arms embracing me, his breath united with mine. I was in complete serenity.
Our sexual energy is the most powerful energy we own. However, in order to do that, one must let go to the moment with complete mindfulness; and it’s so not easy to let go to another, it’s not everyday that we find a connection that levitates us and makes us able to surrender to such a high form of energy. Such surrender that elevates us to a different level of reality and consciousness… such intimacy that unleashes the spirituality in us… such passion that heightens our senses and our souls. This, with him was all that, it was the kind of ecstasy one aims for in prayer; the raw expression and understanding of divinity… such passion is prayer… and this was our prayer; Mind, Body and Spirit.
When he came I was so anxious and elated… I had missed him and he was here in my home. Going towards the bedroom, my whole body was jittery, my heart was racing…
He laid me in bed and “relax” he said. He turned me around, kissed my neck and my back and massaged it smoothly.
“The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have.” – Iian Thomas
That was all it took for me to let go… minutes in, relaxed I was. His tongue then licked me… his eyes stared into mine… He came closer and thrusted his fingers inside me, keeping close breath. I clenched to the sheets on the bed until I exploded in release and I surrendered again… and again and again…
This immense sexuality only exists when you free your inhibitions, without judgment or worry or ridicule, when you become your true self… accept and be accepted. A feeling I have never experienced with anyone else, and fear never will experience with another.
He then glided inside me and our bodies became one… our souls became one. Tongues intertwined, hearts beating together. Redefining the art of passion; we were moaning and breathing as one.
We kept fucking and kissing and touching… the flow of the movements and change of positions and postures was so smooth and in sync. Back curving and arching with every movement… and our lips somehow found their way to each other every time. Oh how I loved submitting to him. My hunger was nurtured, my innate instincts were fulfilled, my soul was serene… I felt him… I could see him… his eyes were glowing, a wistful energy shining from his body… passionate and intimate.
We fucked and talked and touched… and fucked again… The sex, the conversations, the harmony… it was elevating and comfortable.
I was content to a level of satisfaction and pleasure for which there are no words. How dare anyone call this sin, when it’s nothing but heavenly and divine? How did I live so long not knowing that such exists? How can it be that it’s with someone that belongs to another?
I have been carrying his energy with me. Even a few days later I was still elevated. I was different, I was told…