Virtually Violated

Around two weeks back this girl contacted me via Instagram ... She started by talking to me about this guy I knew... I went to high school with, and claimed is a common friend on Instagram… the conversation seemed pretty random and innocent until it wasn’t. He ... was a grade older and we never... Continue Reading →

Do Parents really forgive? .. mine doesn’t!

They say parents are the most forgiving, and their love for you is unconditional, but I think the most hidden truth is that some parents do not forget their children’s fuck-ups no matter how much they change or make amends. Anytime something small slips, the whole history comes to surface. My mother remembers every single... Continue Reading →

Uncomfortably Frozen

Seeing the wife was the strangest encounter ever.. I kept telling myself nothing happened and probably nothing will ever happen, so to convince myself that nothing should be or feel so awkward! But it still was.. I wasn’t myself and probably was this obnoxious person, that she had no idea why is talking or sitting... Continue Reading →

Another child to my broken marriage

I projected my life on someone... I know, I know ...I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know if people with drama and issues in their lives should even be allowed to give advise, because somehow there has to be even a small ounce of projection in there! Having my second daughter, bless her soul is... Continue Reading →

Sister Trouble

Having a sister is supposed to be the most amazing thing ever, specially if you're close in age... you get to share closets, go shopping together, talk about boyfriends and crushes and husbands and family drama! Help each other out when in need... yeah ... would she ever!! Probably, having our mother complain to each... Continue Reading →

Giving someone their Space

Giving someone space means that you are giving them away-time for themselves; time to reflect, decide, consider options and/or focus on themselves, without you being a distraction to their thoughts. And I am… I am honouring his need for disconnection, though it is tougher and stranger than I thought it would be, with the missing... Continue Reading →

Perfect Imperfections

I was at my weekly cards game with my three closest girl-friends from University. They were trying to convince me that I should start a photography business and that my husband through his critical destructive attitude has screwed my self-esteem throughout the years and they have seen how much I have changed... But anyways... I... Continue Reading →

No more meaningless Sex with him

He came on to me last night... I was so horny yet frustrated at the same time. I did want to … but I didn’t want him… and we were not ok … He woke me up, from a wet erotic threesome dream, by kissing that special part right between the back of my ear and... Continue Reading →

My Intervention!

I went down with my two best friends yesterday. They wanted to discuss me and my abusive marriage. It was so uncomfortable I had to chug two tequila shots and half a bottle of wine in the first 10mim just to get myself to listen. One of them has been recently divorced after an 8... Continue Reading →

Two-Day Yoga Retreat

I packed my bags and left... didn’t listen to his insults nor his commands of not to go. I needed this for me. I needed to breath; inhale life without the burdens or anxieties. I needed to switch off from the ugliness and cleanse my mind to be able to survive the next phase of... Continue Reading →

Crucify Your Mind

I was lying there in the sun, with my headphones on, listening to music after a wonderful morning yoga practice. For almost half an hour it was more than serene, feeling the sun’s heat against my face and the rhythm in my heart, feet tapping and mumbling the words. I have heard them before so... Continue Reading →

Why is he not leaving?

It's been 10 days since he packed and returned most of our/his belongings back into storage in preparation for the leave. We agreed that the kids and I would stay here (my mother's extra apartment we've been living in for almost a year a half) and he would leave as per my request for a... Continue Reading →

Drawn to Him

With lust and attraction for him on my mind .. it’s getting harder and harder not to get to see him and talk to him ... to not want to kiss him every time we meet... I haven’t had that for anyone in the longest time and definitely not during my marriage. There’s this unexpected and... Continue Reading →

Is this life’s payback for something?

I am not the kind of person who looses things. I can misplace something every now and then but I know where everything usually is. I arrange my clothes according to season, outings, sleeve sizes, colours... etc. I arrange my house, where everything has a place, with boxes and ziplocks for everything, extra screws and... Continue Reading →

My Dream of You

I have lusted for you ... for us and the pleasure of desire became so powerful ... that even my subconscious couldn't resist... I fucked you in my dream last night… right there in the car where we were... It wasn't like a scene from a movie... it was real and passionate and sloppy… we... Continue Reading →

Gratefulness of feeling respected

I was one step away from breaking my marital vows. It was scary, different and completely and utterly out of my skin. I went with a flow of a plan.. I don’t know how far i was going to go through with it at the end, but i took it one step at a time..... Continue Reading →

In or Out?

Sitting here in the empty living room, he has decided to move out to our supposedly new place away from my mother’s realm, thinking about where I stand in this marriage. His theory is, we’ve been told to leave - I’ll get to why in a bit -, lets move out and then figure out... Continue Reading →

The next day of the … well of the violence

After the beating, things got really complicated specially that’s been two and a half months. Anyway this is about the next day... and the rest will take a faster pace... The day of, he was packing to leave. It took him around 6 hours to pack. I got the kids from my mom’s downstairs and... Continue Reading →

Sex after Abuse

For years I wanted him in our bed... I wanted him to come sleep next to me… to cuddle me and spoon me and kiss my neck while I slept... For years I fantasized about him coming in between my sheets … stoke my body and run his fingers down my back… as he breathed... Continue Reading →

Why I called him!

It never came easy for me to share my thoughts and feelings; it was always hard to find comfort talking and not think... I must sound smart for them to respect me... but I found a friend I can talk to. I never allowed myself that luxury during my marriage. A no judgment zone that... Continue Reading →

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