The Road to Ultimate Happiness from Within

I get it, I get it... So ultimate ‘happiness from within’ is reaching a state of complete non-dependency from all external emotional, physical and materialistic needs... Wait what?!? So in order to achieve that, we need to abstain from every craving we have! Or do we need to turn every craving to a mere want,... Continue Reading →

The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

Every since I was a child I have tried to explain my strange relationship with mother, a guilt-filled love-hate relationship. Although one’s life is their own choices and they have to own up to them, I believe that the way children are nurtured is what makes them who they are; their decisions, attitude, fears, cravings, interactions, how they express or understand love, … all of it is a result of how they were raised and their relationship with their parents. They shape them!! So people are an accumulated result of their ancestors and the tree goes back to the beginning of humanity and that is the only reason why anyone can say that life is predetermined and one’s fate is already written. Thus, if a divine power has knowledge of all the humans ever lived, by default they would easily know, putting aside the complexity of the matrix of course, how people’s life would turn out to be!

So she cannot really bare the burden of who I am, it’s it my entire line of ancestors, both maternal and paternal who have shaped who I am.

MakeItUltra™

By Dr. Perry, PhD


“Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try and do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.” ~D.G. Kaye

It is an understatement to state that parenting is difficult. It is perhaps the only job a person can get that is full-time and for life without having all the requisite skills and qualifications. The responsibility is great. One must equip a child with all the necessary tools they will need in adulthood to forge their own lives. It is a self-less relationship that most parents take great pride in. From the moment their child is born, the child becomes the focal point of the family unit. While this is a non-issue to most couples, what happens when one of the parents lacks empathy and is unable to see the importance in anyone else’s feelings or interests?

Perhaps you were raised by…

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Another child to my broken marriage

I projected my life on someone... I know, I know ...I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know if people with drama and issues in their lives should even be allowed to give advise, because somehow there has to be even a small ounce of projection in there! Having my second daughter, bless her soul is... Continue Reading →

Giving someone their Space

Giving someone space means that you are giving them away-time for themselves; time to reflect, decide, consider options and/or focus on themselves, without you being a distraction to their thoughts. And I am… I am honouring his need for disconnection, though it is tougher and stranger than I thought it would be, with the missing... Continue Reading →

Women are Horny..

Conventional wisdom says that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s, and there are several studies that state that. Whether this is true or not is beyond me. However ... i have been recently extra horny. In my late teens i experienced some similar state, but back then I did have the luxury to... Continue Reading →

How are You…? This is how I am..

I do not want one more person to ask how I am or what I am doing in my life nor for a living or else I’ll burst out in screams! I stopped complaining, stopped sharing and I am cocooning into my own self! I say: good... ok... life... stressed... kids... surviving… lack of sleep...... Continue Reading →

Mother-Husband Battle

I know that, at the end of the day, how my life turned out to be is a result of all my choices and that they are all on me... but they were all choices played in someone else’s game! I was born to a single powerhouse mother that made a name for herself through a... Continue Reading →

Virtually Sexual now turning Real

It was only all virtually sexual until that moment... it turned factual.. physical .. alive! It was actually happening ... and it felt nice, it felt right, but it was fast and incomplete and the setting was bad. He left and I went blank, worried about all the non-essential feelings I know don't matter; fear... Continue Reading →

Perfect Imperfections

I was at my weekly cards game with my three closest girl-friends from University. They were trying to convince me that I should start a photography business and that my husband through his critical destructive attitude has screwed my self-esteem throughout the years and they have seen how much I have changed... But anyways... I... Continue Reading →

What does it mean..?

What does it mean when u ask your spouse for a separation and he calls you spoilt and childish! What does it mean when you tell your parter you don't love him anymore he doesn't take you seriously? I told him in the presence of one of his best friends that I do not want to... Continue Reading →

Will you understand when I ask you to leave?

How will it be when I tell you to leave? Are going to be raging and angry and violent? Will you accuse and shame me for breaking us apart? Or will you understand? I picture your good byes and the blame in your eyes I imagine your pain and that i'd be breaking your heart... Continue Reading →

Sharing Sexual Fantasies…

There are unbelievable highs and lows that come along trying new sexual practices and, for the longest time, mine have been locked in my own fantasy world. Aside from its morality, having recently unbagged the daemon that is exposing myself to another, my fantasy world has been coming out one by one. It’s absolutely wonderful... Continue Reading →

Lonely and Distant

I woke up lonely today... It's not that I don’t have friends or family... but I feel alone in my thoughts and alone in my dreams... I feel remote and distant from the world surrounding me, like I don’t belong. I don’t belong in this house, in this marriage, nor in this environment… I am... Continue Reading →

The Girl in Rags

This barley 6 year old girl in rags is playing with a puppy and a stick... she then crosses the street and just sits there, gazing upon the one lane unpaved dirt road. What is her tiny mind thinking of, what is she aspiring to, why does she look so worried? Is she thinking of... Continue Reading →

Lost my ability to identify Abuse

After years of emotional and verbal abuse, I believe I have lost the ability to understand the difference between an abusive controlling relationship and regular relationship conflicts... I have lived in the abnormal for so long that my inner scale to tell what is normal behavior and what isn’t has completely lost its balance. Where... Continue Reading →

Taking the Decision

In Paulo Coelho’s book, Adultery; a book about a women who has this supposedly perfect life, but apathetic about it, and starts an affair she says: “Today I am a woman torn between the terror that everything might change and the equal terror that everything might carry on exactly the same for the rest of... Continue Reading →

So what is it? An Affair-ish?

"Had we followed through with the plan.. it would have turned into an affair".. that's probably true! It got me thinking of what is an affair? Where is the line drawn? When should one start to feel guilty? With SEX!? According to Wikipedia "An affair is a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or passionate attachment between... Continue Reading →

Am I Addicted to Misery?

I woke up angry... I want to scream and cry and sleep forever... It shouldn’t have been this way... I have wasted 13 years of my life on a dream of a marriage that never came to be. Every year I say I am giving it one more year, one more chance... and every year... Continue Reading →

My Secret Meditation Technique..

I have been trying to meditate for years... My thoughts always took over and I could barely breath till 3 before my active brain rushed with all the random and not so random thoughts... I tried the mantra meditation, it lasts a tad longer, but then it becomes repetitive that my thoughts sneak up on... Continue Reading →

My Devil’s Advocate Conversation

I am hesitant and indecisive and I just realised (although being constantly told otherwise in the past) that it is not because I am weak ... it’s merely because I involve other people in my decisions in my head! I fear judgment, which is a big part of it... and I fear all the negative possibilities that... Continue Reading →

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