Was Lonelier with him than I am without Him…

All through my marriage, I was always in the defensive mode. Shielding myself from the accusations, seeing my life through his needs and myself through his critical eyes and trying to be not disapproved of. I would see discontent in his looks and lay awake wondering what have I done wrong now, how can he... Continue Reading →

We should just watch a movie or fuck…

I slept with my supposedly to be ex-husband again… yes again and it is insane, because we are still separated and we still haven't resolved anything and we can still barely communicate. Usually, he comes over, tries to seduce me or wear me down until I just give in or he gives up. However, this... Continue Reading →

I jumped…

I just held my breath and jumped… and for the past week I feel like I am still in the air… can barely grasp for air, it’s like oxygen refuses to go in, I feel disoriented and angry and scared and have no idea what is waiting for me at the bottom of that jump.... Continue Reading →

Married for the Kids…

Relationships, specially long-term ones are an investment... an investment of time, money, energy, trust, emotions..., and that is one of the reasons that couples dread getting out. It is devastating to call quits and file for bankruptcy, but if the investment is not yielding any of the required return, at one point one has to cut their... Continue Reading →

Another child to my broken marriage

I projected my life on someone... I know, I know ...I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know if people with drama and issues in their lives should even be allowed to give advise, because somehow there has to be even a small ounce of projection in there! And that is probably what I did even... Continue Reading →

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