Perfect Imperfections

I was at my weekly cards game with my three closest girl-friends from University. They were trying to convince me that I should start a photography business and that my husband through his critical destructive attitude has screwed my self-esteem throughout the years and they have seen how much I have changed... But anyways... I... Continue Reading →

Will you understand when I ask you to leave?

How will it be when I tell you to leave? Are going to be raging and angry and violent? Will you accuse and shame me for breaking us apart? Or will you understand? I picture your good byes and the blame in your eyes I imagine your pain and that i'd be breaking your heart... Continue Reading →

My Intervention!

I went down with my two best friends yesterday. They wanted to discuss me and my abusive marriage. It was so uncomfortable I had to chug two tequila shots and half a bottle of wine in the first 10mim just to get myself to listen. One of them has been recently divorced after an 8... Continue Reading →

Lonely and Distant

I woke up lonely today... It's not that I don’t have friends or family... but I feel alone in my thoughts and alone in my dreams... I feel remote and distant from the world surrounding me, like I don’t belong. I don’t belong in this house, in this marriage, nor in this environment… I am... Continue Reading →

Two-Day Yoga Retreat

I packed my bags and left... didn’t listen to his insults nor his commands of not to go. I needed this for me. I needed to breath; inhale life without the burdens or anxieties. I needed to switch off from the ugliness and cleanse my mind to be able to survive the next phase of... Continue Reading →

Gratefulness of feeling respected

I was one step away from breaking my marital vows. It was scary, different and completely and utterly out of my skin. I went with a flow of a plan.. I don’t know how far i was going to go through with it at the end, but i took it one step at a time..... Continue Reading →

Loneliness

I sit here in the bedroom, with something going on on the TV in the background. I have put the kids to bed after running the daily chores of motherhood. I wanted a person to talk to, but u had already told me that i'm a disruption to ur time. That my interruptions are not... Continue Reading →

Is it only in my head

The other day we were taking our daughter for her first day to KG, he didn't have to come. He never did with our 5 yr old. But sure that should be a nice thing. Husband: When are we gonna go down? Me: We go down 7:45. Husband: Why not earlier? Me: Because we need... Continue Reading →

Seriously

You come and tell me that i am like a depressed little girl looking for things to get pissed at. That after your screaming and shouting and unstoppable criticism. You barley took a breath. So what, am i supposed to do? Press a reset button and be all sweet and cute and hop on u... Continue Reading →

The ‘You and I’ romantic trip – Part 1.

Dear Husband, Do you remeber this trip? The one i was begging for for 6 years since we got married. The one you finally agreed to travel with me on when i was 7 months pregnant and made me stay half of it in a country i have already visited in a place i didn't... Continue Reading →

Affected by your look

Dear Husband I cant help but get affected by the way u shake your head when i start talking. The despise on ur face when you hear anything i say is like a knife through my soul. I hold my breath and start talking so fast to get my thoughts out, they come out crumbled... Continue Reading →

She woke up breathless

She woke up breathless tears socking in her eyes .. and the pillow beneath her couldn't handle all the cries Disillusioned by a nightmare that hasn’t appeared to her in years Was it because her life has crumbled and the years spent has proven inept? Was it because she missed the life she no longer... Continue Reading →

KARINA, my husband’s friend

Dear Husband, I write you this since you have denied me the right to even talk to you about it. You have threatened me painful threats if I do dare to talk about her. Told me that your relationship with her is your thing and too deep for my humble mind to understand. You have... Continue Reading →

Dear Husband, should I care?

You came home after some business meeting today and you looked pretty ill. If it were anyone else I would have been attentive, I would have sprung up and brought you food, a warm drink and cradled with love and a kiss. But you aren't anyone else. You are the husband who blamed me when... Continue Reading →

The Need for approval is Toxic

Dear Husband, I am tried of waiting for your approval after 10 years of marriage. For you to fall in love with me again or maybe ever. I am tried of waiting for you to appreciate me and my mind. To value me as a person, wife and mother. To think of me as someone... Continue Reading →

Dear Husband

I have been in tears all morning, thinking of what you think of me and what you made me think of myself. That i am a mindless, philosophy-less, immature shame of a wife. That i will and never accomplish anything because i have no focus. That i will never be appreciated nor respected by you.... Continue Reading →

Dear Husband,

I love being in love and i hate being in love with you You hurt and crush You somehow burn the love Isn't it hard being so passionately  cruel I understand the boredom and understand the airless life we have. i feel a hole in my gut and breath with a stone down my throat... Continue Reading →

A letter to Myself

Remember these thoughts as the days pass by, and promise yourself you will read them more often than you should. 1. You will not believe in anything simply because you've heard it and it is rumored by many. You will not believe in anything simply on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after... Continue Reading →

My friend just lost her child

I have been hearing the news over and over in my head and disbelief is all what comes to mind. I cannot imagine any pain more severe than that suffered when a child passes. But what I can say is; we do not know why these things happen to the innocent souls in our lives,... Continue Reading →

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