Flirting is Empowering…

For the first time ever…  I flirted my way into getting something done. Two days ago, I flirted my way into renewing my driver’s license, and if you have ever lived in a third world country you would know that bureaucracy and bribes are the heart of getting any paper done, let alone renewing a... Continue Reading →

Self-Worth Affirmations…

I grew up with words like don’t be dramatic, you sound silly and look stupid, you look anemic…. you are still young and inexperienced and I do and always will “know better”. I grew up with implied notions that I’m a terrible decision-maker and nothing I ever do will be good enough… that no matter... Continue Reading →

Have we been passed on Worry Genes from our Ancestors?

Focus on the positive, replace your negative thoughts with positive ones, embrace positive thinking, live in the now, be optimistic, positive thinking and positive attitude results in success, have faith that good things will happen and it will, change your negative thought patterns… billions of motivational phrases and quotes and speeches… they are everywhere. Though... Continue Reading →

Although appreciated… Attention is not what I am looking for…

People get attracted for so may different reasons; physic, personality, sent, hormones, tone of voice, early childhood experiences, experiences gained over the years, certain maturity level, mutual value systems… etc. Apparently there is a science behind it, according to Lisa Firestone Ph.D. And I think my choice of men has evolved and matured dramatically, however,... Continue Reading →

He managed to manage my expectations…

What is it that is expected from a spouse when their partner falls sick? It is not a rhetorical question… I genuinely don't know the answer to that! My husband of 12 years made me bowl of soup once… I remember it, because it was right after giving birth to our second baby. My hemoglobin... Continue Reading →

Can Affairs Prolong Marriages?

Can cheating help a marriage survive longer? And really… should one help rescue such a marriage, if it is in need of that sort of help! I wrote about this before, but the thought has been haunting me for a few days now. He said that if it weren’t for sex-on-the-side,his, around two-decade relationship, would... Continue Reading →

The Road to Ultimate Happiness from Within

I get it, I get it... So ultimate ‘happiness from within’ is reaching a state of complete non-dependency from all external emotional, physical and materialistic needs... Wait what?!? So in order to achieve that, we need to abstain from every craving we have! Or do we need to turn every craving to a mere want,... Continue Reading →

Old age is Cruel… So live while you Can

Although no one can reject it... nor deny it... nor prevent it, aging is inevitable. And old age is cruel! It is filled with frailness and decay. Yes it is filled with wisdom, but what is wisdom without the body and mind to live it. Our health starts fading day by day and even if... Continue Reading →

15 Years of…

There is something about unhappiness… it is awful and unbearable until something worse comes along and then that unhappiness becomes unacknowledged and under appreciated happiness that we’ve missed the opportunity to value... accordingly this is the biggest fear when someone is trying to obliterate current unhappiness. It’s the what-ifs that haunt the mind that this... Continue Reading →

His death was like Therapy.. May he rest in peace

It was the most shocking news I have ever received. He rides motorcycles, but no not an accident, did drugs, but no not an overdose, he wasn’t even sick nor overly stressed. Athletic, positive, family person, loved by all… Last year like today a good friend of mine passed away at 39 years old. He... Continue Reading →

Who will Witness who they Truly are…

It takes a village to raise a child. Although that might not necessarily be 100% true, it would sure be nice. When and if I do find it, any kind of help is always appreciated and welcomed in my book. However, help is not it... I would have truly loved to have a village or... Continue Reading →

A Soothing Kiss

I decided to tone him off during the winter holidays... I was traveling with family and he with his... and it was the best opportunity to try make this lustful attachment fade out, because like he told me a few days before we left, “i’m trying really hard not fuck up our lives”. So yes,... Continue Reading →

Violence Relapse…

It has been a year since his last physical abuse with me, but like so many have told me, if he did it once, he'll do it again. New years eve was our eldest daughter's birthday; turning 6. We have always had this tradition to go dress shopping that morning just me and her together,... Continue Reading →

Unfamiliar Territory…

I am currently in an unfamiliar territory. A territory where I have and am showing more of myself than I ever have... at times it feels comfortable and liberating and at others it is awfully scary. It is definitely nice to have a sexual partner to share with all the experiences I have never dared... Continue Reading →

Help or Let be…

When you sit and watch people’s faces in any place in the world, you feel that all humans are equally pathetic and lost and weak… American’s, Europeans, Arabs, Africans or Chinese … Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Agnostic or Atheists … White, Black, Brown or Red … Regardless of our race or religion or marital status, we... Continue Reading →

My Daughter’s Gymnastics trainer hit her…

For about a moth before her championship - under 7 years - she and her team have been training like crazy, 6 days a week, three hours each. It has been so hectic, taking her to training everyday and waiting for the three hours outside the hall for her to finish. Every day I ask... Continue Reading →

He lost our daughter at a fair the other day..

We had our yearly Christmas Bazaar at our high school; and it’s been a tradition to go to every year; a reunion and fun day with friends and kids and whatnot. The day started like every other weekend; him sleeping and me waking up with the girls, washing them up, breakfast, feeding, running after each... Continue Reading →

In another Life…

I need you, I need one of those hugs that fill the soul with hope and love and warmth. I need someone who knows me, deepest and darkest and most vulnerable me. I need a support system and I know I’m never going to have one nor have anyone to tell me that it is... Continue Reading →

Self-destruction runs in the Family..

What is wrong with the both of us? What made us so self-disrespectful? How did both of us turn out to be so fucked up? Was is the way we were raised? Our parents loved us both so much, they have literally sacrificed every ounce of time and energy for us, were never stingy on... Continue Reading →

Learning to Listen to Children…

Stop crying… it is not worth it… calm down… don’t be disappointed… These are words I have been hearing many parents tell their children, these are words I have been told myself as a child. I was 14 years old when I finally figured out that my mother has never listened to a word I... Continue Reading →

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