Releasing my Sexual Energy with a Friend

A couple of days ago a friend of mine passed by… We ordered food and had wine along with a very long and profound conversation about our fucked up marriages and ended up talking about our sex lives during our marriages. We had very different experiences. For me sex was of the most important reasons... Continue Reading →

Missing You Tonight

I miss you… and it’s fucked-up I know,‘cause you’re not mine to miss or want or crave… but I do! I miss your scent, your touch and your smile..I miss giving myself to you… and feel it meltingI miss staring in your eyes without distress…I miss flirting and laughing and … the silence Do you... Continue Reading →

Maybe it’s time to Walk Away

He’s having a baby and I don't know how I should feel about it... I’m happy for him and for them. I’m happy that his family is growing and that his kid will have a sibling. We talked about sleepless nights and prams and delivery arrangements. We talked about pregnancies and kids and schools… I... Continue Reading →

What is a loving relationship?

During one of my therapy sessions, a few weeks ago, I told my therapist that I do not think that I really believe in true love anymore and after you feel love for a child the rest is just worthless. He, my therapist, so patiently told me “because you have never been in a loving relationship before” and... Continue Reading →

An Afternoon Sex Date… left me wanting more

I have been trying to find words to describe that afternoon… It was certainly, passionate and erotic and hot, but it wasn’t just that, it was much more than just mundane sex. I was trying to make sense of it all, but today it struck me… You know that feeling you get when you step... Continue Reading →

Sexual Fantasies…

It was a warm mid afternoon, sun shining through clear skies. We sat there for a while after lunch, talking about life and pasts and sharing thoughts on different subjects. It was comfortable and peaceful. We’d kiss between conversations with slight and subtle touching… grazing my inner thigh… leaning in to touch my neck… tracing... Continue Reading →

Sex, with Feelings and Respect

It’s just sex, with feelings and respect, he said… and I like that, because, it really is a good and honest friendship that happen to be accompanied by an amazing sexual connection... and calling it anything else, would make it sound ugly and unethical and bad... It somehow does not feel like cheating, at least... Continue Reading →

Missing you Tonight…

I miss you... and it’s fucked-up I know, ‘cause you're not mine to miss or want or crave... but I do! I miss your scent, your touch and your smile.. I miss giving myself to you… and feel it melting I miss staring in your eyes without distress... I miss flirting and laughing and ...... Continue Reading →

A Happy Morning..

For the past week or so, I have been trying to write about that morning together... because other than the physical part, it has been a tad uneasy! Not until I saw him for coffee today, I could at least try. Not that anything really happened or that we spent more time than usual together,... Continue Reading →

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