My understanding of a Healthy Relationship… after years of Abuse

The idea of a stable healthy relationship has always been so far fetched that in my 16 years with him, all I knew was how much he hurt me and all I ever wanted is for that to stop, all I wanted was for the nice moments to last just a tad longer than they... Continue Reading →

Fear of Loss…

I think today marks the first time I ever thought twice before texting him... We met a few days ago and although after I left, I felt lighter and more confident than I have been in months, his silence this time scared me! It is still weightless. It is still intimate and passionate... It’s still... Continue Reading →

Horrifying Memories Unraveling…

I lived my life thinking “what gives me the right to deserve anything since I haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile”. Whatever accomplishment I achieved I would belittle, whatever compliment I’d receive meant nothing, whatever milestone or hardship I would survive, was barely mediocre in comparison to the perfection I had to measure up to. However, over... Continue Reading →

I just was not into him…

A friend of mine passed by today to drop off a book; the same friend who I enjoyed flirting with and leading on a few months back. I haven’t seen him since the last time we kissed in his car and had no interest on doing so either, however a few days ago we started... Continue Reading →

A Car to Wait in…

As I was driving the kids back from training today, I started crying… I had already fed them right after training and put them in their PJs in the car, so they would fall asleep on their way back. I remembered an evening last winter; it was pouring rain and I was sitting in the... Continue Reading →

Single Parenting is killing my Essence…

I’m done with the kids birthday season… and I’m so damn exhausted. It’s not that it’s hard, but I just hate doing all this alone. I’m tired of being a single parent during or outside the marriage, with a supposedly partner who doesn’t contribute. Ohhh yes he pays for it, but that’s it. He comes... Continue Reading →

Anniversary Dinner

He texted the night before that he wants to invite me to an evening and night together… I was dreading that he would, although not in 6 years have we went out to celebrate that day; actually it’s been 6 years since we went out for dinner at all. I felt very weird about it,... Continue Reading →

Women like to Hunt and Chase too…

I went out with an old work colleague for drinks… We usually catch up every now and then over the phone or texting; recommend books, interesting video talks and articles, talk about life, but we decided to meet up, something I don’t usually do, go out with a guy for drinks, and I have never... Continue Reading →

Weightless Passion

Although, but not long ago I was naked in his arms and him in mine, I crave for him still. I crave for that bond, for that intimacy, for having him let go to me and with me... Once the storm of every day passes, and the silence comes, I feel the tsunami of longing... Continue Reading →

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