Sex, as a refuge, blues

I have sex for all kinds of reasons, one of which is, of course, my relentless passionate desires and the love of sex and seduction itself. But I also find refuge in fucking... I have had sex when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I am angry or frustrated and when I’m confident and... Continue Reading →

Pictures… Accepting my Sufferings

I was posting an Instagram story for a friend and found myself scrolling through old pictures. Without even noticing I found myself led to a very long trip down memory lane… 16 years of memories of our life together. If anyone saw them, they would probably swear that we were one of the happiest and... Continue Reading →

Missing You Tonight

I miss you… and it’s fucked-up I know,‘cause you’re not mine to miss or want or crave… but I do! I miss your scent, your touch and your smile..I miss giving myself to you… and feel it meltingI miss staring in your eyes without distress…I miss flirting and laughing and … the silence Do you... Continue Reading →

Relinquishing Control

I am with the kids all of damn time, I gave up everything to be hands on with them, but I am drained and over exhausted and sadly cannot stand hearing my own voice nagging and begging and trying to talk to two girls with all their complaints and requests and dramas at once any... Continue Reading →

Horrifying Memories Unraveling…

I lived my life thinking “what gives me the right to deserve anything since I haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile”. Whatever accomplishment I achieved I would belittle, whatever compliment I’d receive meant nothing, whatever milestone or hardship I would survive, was barely mediocre in comparison to the perfection I had to measure up to. However, over... Continue Reading →

I just was not into him…

A friend of mine passed by today to drop off a book; the same friend who I enjoyed flirting with and leading on a few months back. I haven’t seen him since the last time we kissed in his car and had no interest on doing so either, however a few days ago we started... Continue Reading →

I want OUT…

You know those people who kill themselves and you wonder... WHY? They have everything, they have a good life… I've never seen them cry! I woke up today wanting to shout; “I just want out” Out of this life this marriage this world and my own skin Out of being a mother a daughter a... Continue Reading →

A Car to Wait in…

As I was driving the kids back from training today, I started crying… I had already fed them right after training and put them in their PJs in the car, so they would fall asleep on their way back. I remembered an evening last winter; it was pouring rain and I was sitting in the... Continue Reading →

Single Parenting is killing my Essence…

I’m done with the kids birthday season… and I’m so damn exhausted. It’s not that it’s hard, but I just hate doing all this alone. I’m tired of being a single parent during or outside the marriage, with a supposedly partner who doesn’t contribute. Ohhh yes he pays for it, but that’s it. He comes... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: