Self-destruction runs in the Family..

What is wrong with the both of us? What made us so self-disrespectful? How did both of us turn out to be so fucked up? Was is the way we were raised? Our parents loved us both so much, they have literally sacrificed every ounce of time and energy for us, were never stingy on... Continue Reading →

Learning to Listen to Children…

Stop crying… it is not worth it… calm down… don’t be disappointed… These are words I have been hearing many parents tell their children, these are words I have been told myself as a child. I was 14 years old when I finally figured out that my mother has never listened to a word I... Continue Reading →

Desert Trip .. What would happen if I die

Yesterday we went barbecuing in the desert. It was a birthday of friends’ daughter who was turning 11 and decided that she wants a family and friends gathering for the old and young generation, so we headed to a protectorate valley in the desert for the day. My eldest had training that finishes at 2... Continue Reading →

More Lustful in the Fall

There is something about Autumn nights that turn me on, although according to science men are hornier in the fall and women in the spring, but there is just that incredible soft brisk breeze and the open air that makes me have this strange unexplained demanding urge to be touched. It is that time of... Continue Reading →

My Very Special Day…

So it was my birthday last Tuesday the 25th... A birthday is indeed a special day for everyone, simply because it marks a turning point in ones life; weather u have a successful or miserable life that doesn’t really matter, this is still your day your new year and yours alone. I tend to remember... Continue Reading →

Writing about Anger sometimes sets you free… and sometimes …

I haven’t posted anything in a while and that’s not because I’m lazy nor that I do not have anything to write about, on the contrary I have been writing a lot, …  it’s just that I cannot get myself to reread my writings. It makes me feel so weak and pathetic with petty repetitive... Continue Reading →

Married Single Parent … lost in that space in-between

Although we have been together for over a decade, raised children and shared a home, I don't believe we ever really had a marriage... we have never had a we or us relationship, never a unified position! It wasn't until recently that I was able to truly really admit that to myself that I have been waiting for this... Continue Reading →

Flashbacks of my Infidelity…

Two weeks have passed and I think it is finally sinking in. It was my first time with anyone else in 14 years... and it took almost 14 days for it to start to soak in and feel real. He’s my first kiss, my first fuck and my first (and probably last) crush during my marriage. I never thought... Continue Reading →

Stay or Leave a Cold Marriage?

Would you rather stay in a marriage for the sake of your children, a marriage where you lack intimacy and passion and where you do not get to show your kids what a healthy loving relationship looks like and maybe expand you family for the better interest of your child or would you rather leave... Continue Reading →

Someone who loved me better

I could’ve been with someone who didn’t make me feel so unhappy and suppressed all the time. I could’ve been with a person who treated me well, which I have learnt is apparently a right not a privilege. I could’ve had something better with someone who loved me better. I should've been in an non-abusive non-threatening... Continue Reading →

Relationships Cycle vs Mine

Everyone changes over time and so do marriages. The cycles in marriages could either bring a couple closer together or makes them grow more distant. Although we get into relationships thinking they should be the securest and most reliable entity, they are very precarious... just one wrong turn and they go down... A healthy cycle... Continue Reading →

A weekend without him…

He left and I can breath... the colours of the apartment changed, that smoggy cloud that hazed up the place and this heavy halo suffocating me slowly faded away! It’s just for three days, but I could use three days of vivid light and weightless oxygen. I own my space and time without a judgmental... Continue Reading →

Why do we bring Children into this World?

In his book, Born A Crime, Trevor Noah the comedian talks about his mother. He says that she wanted to have a child to experience unconditional love; growing up she didn’t feel loved by her parents and she wanted to be unconditionally loved. Different people have children for different reason, which runs through the complete... Continue Reading →

I cried when he touched me…

I only wanted to say no, but didn’t… I couldn’t stop imagining his reaction to the rejection... the looks of anger and disappointment after... the guilt trips; that I am turning every good moment into a negative... the blame; that I am the one who doesn’t want or know how to enjoy the moment. I... Continue Reading →

Another child to my broken marriage

I projected my life on someone... I know, I know ...I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know if people with drama and issues in their lives should even be allowed to give advise, because somehow there has to be even a small ounce of projection in there! And that is probably what I did even... Continue Reading →

Giving someone their Space

Giving someone space means that you are giving them away-time for themselves; time to reflect, decide, consider options and/or focus on themselves, without you being a distraction to their thoughts. And I am… I am honouring his need for disconnection, though it is tougher and stranger than I thought it would be, with the missing... Continue Reading →

Women are Horny..

Conventional wisdom says that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s, and there are several studies that state that. Whether this is true or not is beyond me. However ... i have been recently extra horny. In my late teens i experienced some similar state, but back then I did have the luxury to... Continue Reading →

How are You…? This is how I am..

I do not want one more person to ask how I am or what I am doing in my life nor for a living or else I’ll burst out in screams! I stopped complaining, stopped sharing and I am cocooning into my own self! I say: good... ok... life... stressed... kids... surviving… lack of sleep...... Continue Reading →

Mother-Husband Battle

I know that, at the end of the day, how my life turned out to be is a result of all my choices and that they are all on me... but they were all choices played in someone else’s game! I was born to a single powerhouse mother that made a name for herself through a... Continue Reading →

Perfect Imperfections

I was at my weekly cards game with my three closest girl-friends from University. They were trying to convince me that I should start a photography business and that my husband through his critical destructive attitude has screwed my self-esteem throughout the years and they have seen how much I have changed... But anyways... I... Continue Reading →

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