Old age is Cruel… So live while you Can

Although no one can reject it nor deny it nor prevent it, aging is inevitable. And old age is cruel! It is filled with frailness and decay. Yes it is filled with wisdom, but what is wisdom without the body and mind to live it. Our health starts fading day by day and even if... Continue Reading →

Violence Relapse…

It has been a year since his last physical abuse with me, but like so many have told me, if he did it once, he'll do it again. New years eve was our eldest daughter's birthday; turning 6. We have always had this tradition to go dress shopping that morning just me and her together,... Continue Reading →

He lives on a cloud of recklessness…

As I was skimming through my emails one morning before getting out of bed, I found tickets booked for a trip to Germany for all four of us, him, the kids and myself. We had talked about it very very briefly about a month ago... about the possibility of traveling and when the kids have... Continue Reading →

Married to an addict… apparently

One of my husband’s best friends called me today morning telling me that we need find a solution for my husband’s drug addition. For the longest time, I was trying to avoid this conversation with anyone or the actual fact that this problem exists; specially because this was one conversation I never thought I would... Continue Reading →

He lost our daughter at a fair the other day..

We had our yearly Christmas Bazaar at our high school; and it’s been a tradition to go to every year; a reunion and fun day with friends and kids and whatnot. The day started like every other weekend; him sleeping and me waking up with the girls, washing them up, breakfast, feeding, running after each... Continue Reading →

Self-destruction runs in the Family..

What is wrong with the both of us? What made us so self-disrespectful? How did both of us turn out to be so fucked up? Was is the way we were raised? Our parents loved us both so much, they have literally sacrificed every ounce of time and energy for us, were never stingy on... Continue Reading →

Desert Trip .. What would happen if I die

Yesterday we went barbecuing in the desert. It was a birthday of friends’ daughter who was turning 11 and decided that she wants a family and friends gathering for the old and young generation, so we headed to a protectorate valley in the desert for the day. My eldest had training that finishes at 2... Continue Reading →

A Hot Gymnast…

Sitting outside my daughter’s gymnastics hall waiting for her to finish her three hour training is the most boring chore of my day... but when the light is just right one could see the kids training inside, which makes time pass a little faster and makes waiting there a tad more interesting. Today, however, something... Continue Reading →

The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

Every since I was a child I have tried to explain my strange relationship with mother, a guilt-filled love-hate relationship. Although one’s life is their own choices and they have to own up to them, I believe that the way children are nurtured is what makes them who they are; their decisions, attitude, fears, cravings,... Continue Reading →

Eliminating destruction

Even though in my head and with all rational I should believe he is wrong… that his words should not get to me... BUT THEY DO... I became what he perceived me to be... It started by first trying to convince him of how wrong he is.. but he called that delusions of myself.. By... Continue Reading →

Do i have something valuable to add?

Dear Husband, You came home late last night. I am guessing you were still at that conference, or maybe left and went somewhere after that. Could a conference last until 12 midnight? Maybe, how would I know? I tried not to ask so much. But, you came back, expecting me to be all sweet and welcoming. I... Continue Reading →

Is it only in my head

The other day we were taking our daughter for her first day to KG, he didn't have to come. He never did with our 5 yr old. But sure that should be a nice thing. Husband: When are we gonna go down? Me: We go down 7:45. Husband: Why not earlier? Me: Because we need... Continue Reading →

Seriously; I’m depressed

You come and tell me that i am like a depressed little girl looking for things to get pissed at. That after your screaming and shouting and unstoppable criticism. You barley took a breath. So what, am i supposed to do? Press a reset button and be all sweet and cute and hop on u... Continue Reading →

GET OUT! GET OUT!

I know what i would be so bluntly told. GET OUT, just GET OUT. Get out of this toxic environment, because nothing will ever change. Because he has never added anything to your life, but in fact he has made you feel more worthless than you already feel. That you he will never view you... Continue Reading →

Will you ever give me Satisfaction?

Dear Husband, What is it with you narcissistic people? Do enjoy not giving comfort to others? Is it satisfactory for you to belittle the person when they are right and degrade them when they are wrong? We havent been talking (except for necessities) the past week, and yet here i am waiting for a validation... Continue Reading →

KARINA, my husband’s friend

Dear Husband, I write you this since you have denied me the right to even talk to you about it. You have threatened me painful threats if I do dare to talk about her. Told me that your relationship with her is your thing and too deep for my humble mind to understand. You have... Continue Reading →

The Need for approval is Toxic

Dear Husband, I am tried of waiting for your approval after 10 years of marriage. For you to fall in love with me again or maybe ever. I am tried of waiting for you to appreciate me and my mind. To value me as a person, wife and mother. To think of me as someone... Continue Reading →

Dear Husband

I have been in tears all morning, thinking of what you think of me and what you made me think of myself. That i am a mindless, philosophy-less, immature shame of a wife. That i will and never accomplish anything because i have no focus. That i will never be appreciated nor respected by you.... Continue Reading →

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: