Sex, as a refuge, blues

I have sex for all kinds of reasons, one of which is, of course, my relentless passionate desires and the love of sex and seduction itself. But I also find refuge in fucking... I have had sex when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I am angry or frustrated and when I’m confident and... Continue Reading →

Releasing my Sexual Energy with a Friend

A couple of days ago a friend of mine passed by… We ordered food and had wine along with a very long and profound conversation about our fucked up marriages and ended up talking about our sex lives during our marriages. We had very different experiences. For me sex was of the most important reasons... Continue Reading →

Pictures… Accepting my Sufferings

I was posting an Instagram story for a friend and found myself scrolling through old pictures. Without even noticing I found myself led to a very long trip down memory lane… 16 years of memories of our life together. If anyone saw them, they would probably swear that we were one of the happiest and... Continue Reading →

My understanding of a Healthy Relationship… after years of Abuse

The idea of a stable healthy relationship has always been so far fetched that in my 16 years with him, all I knew was how much he hurt me and all I ever wanted is for that to stop, all I wanted was for the nice moments to last just a tad longer than they... Continue Reading →

Intense Callings

What’s the difference between liking someone and loving someone? What tips the scale... in family, is it the family bond? On a romantic level, is it physical attraction?… These questions triggered a whole insane therapy session, where I came to the knowledge that I don't really have those intense deep overwhelming feelings towards much in... Continue Reading →

Fear of Loss…

I think today marks the first time I ever thought twice before texting him... We met a few days ago and although after I left, I felt lighter and more confident than I have been in months, his silence this time scared me! It is still weightless. It is still intimate and passionate... It’s still... Continue Reading →

I just was not into him…

A friend of mine passed by today to drop off a book; the same friend who I enjoyed flirting with and leading on a few months back. I haven’t seen him since the last time we kissed in his car and had no interest on doing so either, however a few days ago we started... Continue Reading →

I will never forgive him for that…

And to think for a second there I felt a spark... even from far away. As I was dropping off the kids... walking towards him, I checked him out. I haven’t done that in ages… But that didn’t last long, the second I came closer, I felt the hostile energy, the resentment, the fear I... Continue Reading →

It started with a Kiss

When I met him; he was married and I was married so I thought, “well this is safe”. We would meet and talk for hours; from one interesting conversation to the next and over a very short period we became close, and without even realising it I opened up to him and him to me... Continue Reading →

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