Self-Worth Affirmations…

I grew up with words like don’t be dramatic, you sound silly and look stupid, you look anemic…. you are still young and inexperienced and I do and always will “know better”. I grew up with implied notions that I’m a terrible decision-maker and nothing I ever do will be good enough… that no matter... Continue Reading →

Have we been passed on Worry Genes from our Ancestors?

Focus on the positive, replace your negative thoughts with positive ones, embrace positive thinking, live in the now, be optimistic, positive thinking and positive attitude results in success, have faith that good things will happen and it will, change your negative thought patterns… billions of motivational phrases and quotes and speeches… they are everywhere. Though... Continue Reading →

Although appreciated… Attention is not what I am looking for…

People get attracted for so may different reasons; physic, personality, sent, hormones, tone of voice, early childhood experiences, experiences gained over the years, certain maturity level, mutual value systems… etc. Apparently there is a science behind it, according to Lisa Firestone Ph.D. And I think my choice of men has evolved and matured dramatically, however,... Continue Reading →

He managed to manage my expectations…

What is it that is expected from a spouse when their partner falls sick? It is not a rhetorical question… I genuinely don't know the answer to that! My husband of 12 years made me bowl of soup once… I remember it, because it was right after giving birth to our second baby. My hemoglobin... Continue Reading →

Can Affairs Prolong Marriages?

Can cheating help a marriage survive longer? And really… should one help rescue such a marriage, if it is in need of that sort of help! I wrote about this before, but the thought has been haunting me for a few days now. He said that if it weren’t for sex-on-the-side,his, around two-decade relationship, would... Continue Reading →

The Road to Ultimate Happiness from Within

I get it, I get it... So ultimate ‘happiness from within’ is reaching a state of complete non-dependency from all external emotional, physical and materialistic needs... Wait what?!? So in order to achieve that, we need to abstain from every craving we have! Or do we need to turn every craving to a mere want,... Continue Reading →

Old age is Cruel… So live while you Can

Although no one can reject it... nor deny it... nor prevent it, aging is inevitable. And old age is cruel! It is filled with frailness and decay. Yes it is filled with wisdom, but what is wisdom without the body and mind to live it. Our health starts fading day by day and even if... Continue Reading →

15 Years of…

There is something about unhappiness… it is awful and unbearable until something worse comes along and then that unhappiness becomes unacknowledged and under appreciated happiness that we’ve missed the opportunity to value... accordingly this is the biggest fear when someone is trying to obliterate current unhappiness. It’s the what-ifs that haunt the mind that this... Continue Reading →

Taking Turns…

It was both of our daughters’ school orientation and I was dreading the fact that I’d see him there. His wife was out of town, which meant he would come alone and I was going alone anyways... but as wired as I thought it would be and how many people I knew that were going... Continue Reading →

A Sight for Sore Eyes

The day I saw him after a long break he kissed me .. It, whatever this is, somehow has become more intense than even before we left it, although all trials of fading it out.. I missed him… I missed talking to him and kissing him and so much wanted to tell him about what... Continue Reading →

Violence Relapse…

It has been a year since his last physical abuse with me, but like so many have told me, if he did it once, he'll do it again. New years eve was our eldest daughter's birthday; turning 6. We have always had this tradition to go dress shopping that morning just me and her together,... Continue Reading →

True to Myself…

Some people have an affair to be someone else or live a different life... some are merely bored or pissed of a current situation… some want to live some kind of fantasy... and others are just compensating what they lack in their real lives... ... but in some cases, that someone else and that somewhere else,... Continue Reading →

He lives on a cloud of recklessness…

As I was skimming through my emails one morning before getting out of bed, I found tickets booked for a trip to Germany for all four of us, him, the kids and myself. We had talked about it very very briefly about a month ago... about the possibility of traveling and when the kids have... Continue Reading →

Married to an addict… apparently

One of my husband’s best friends called me today morning telling me that we need find a solution for my husband’s drug addition. For the longest time, I was trying to avoid this conversation with anyone or the actual fact that this problem exists; specially because this was one conversation I never thought I would... Continue Reading →

Parenting Jealousy

I definitely spend more time with the kids than their father and by default I am the one who gives the most orders and says the most Nos. I am also the most tired the majority of the time to do the fun happy-go-lucky entertainment, in which I tend to also include parenting, and drowned by... Continue Reading →

Unfamiliar Territory…

I am currently in an unfamiliar territory. A territory where I have and am showing more of myself than I ever have... at times it feels comfortable and liberating and at others it is awfully scary. It is definitely nice to have a sexual partner to share with all the experiences I have never dared... Continue Reading →

Help or Let be…

When you sit and watch people’s faces in any place in the world, you feel that all humans are equally pathetic and lost and weak… American’s, Europeans, Arabs, Africans or Chinese … Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Agnostic or Atheists … White, Black, Brown or Red … Regardless of our race or religion or marital status, we... Continue Reading →

Married for the Kids…

Relationships, specially long-term ones are an investment... an investment of time, money, energy, trust, emotions..., and that is one of the reasons that couples dread getting out. It is devastating to call quits and file for bankruptcy, but if the investment is not yielding any of the required return, at one point one has to cut their... Continue Reading →

We met again.. Same place… less time…

So we met again... This time I asked for it, I was horny and I missed him! It took me an hour to gather my guts to text him, afraid of rejection maybe or scared that he had had gotten bored already or that I might seem desperate, specially since my breakdown last week. But... Continue Reading →

He lost our daughter at a fair the other day..

We had our yearly Christmas Bazaar at our high school; and it’s been a tradition to go to every year; a reunion and fun day with friends and kids and whatnot. The day started like every other weekend; him sleeping and me waking up with the girls, washing them up, breakfast, feeding, running after each... Continue Reading →

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