Self-destruction runs in the Family..

What is wrong with the both of us? What made us so self-disrespectful? How did both of us turn out to be so fucked up? Was is the way we were raised? Our parents loved us both so much, they have literally sacrificed every ounce of time and energy for us, were never stingy on... Continue Reading →

Learning to Listen to Children…

Stop crying… it is not worth it… calm down… don’t be disappointed… These are words I have been hearing many parents tell their children, these are words I have been told myself as a child. I was 14 years old when I finally figured out that my mother has never listened to a word I... Continue Reading →

Desert Trip .. What would happen if I die

Yesterday we went barbecuing in the desert. It was a birthday of friends’ daughter who was turning 11 and decided that she wants a family and friends gathering for the old and young generation, so we headed to a protectorate valley in the desert for the day. My eldest had training that finishes at 2... Continue Reading →

More Lustful in the Fall

There is something about Autumn nights that turn me on, although according to science men are hornier in the fall and women in the spring, but there is just that incredible soft brisk breeze and the open air that makes me have this strange unexplained demanding urge to be touched. It is that time of... Continue Reading →

My Very Special Day…

So it was my birthday last Tuesday the 25th... A birthday is indeed a special day for everyone, simply because it marks a turning point in ones life; weather u have a successful or miserable life that doesn’t really matter, this is still your day your new year and yours alone. I tend to remember... Continue Reading →

Writing about Anger sometimes sets you free… and sometimes …

I haven’t posted anything in a while and that’s not because I’m lazy nor that I do not have anything to write about, on the contrary I have been writing a lot, …  it’s just that I cannot get myself to reread my writings. It makes me feel so weak and pathetic with petty repetitive... Continue Reading →

Stay or Leave a Cold Marriage?

Would you rather stay in a marriage for the sake of your children, a marriage where you lack intimacy and passion and where you do not get to show your kids what a healthy loving relationship looks like and maybe expand you family for the better interest of your child or would you rather leave... Continue Reading →

Virtually Violated

Around two weeks back this girl contacted me via Instagram ... She started by talking to me about this guy I knew... I went to high school with, and claimed is a common friend on Instagram… the conversation seemed pretty random and innocent until it wasn’t. He ... was a grade older and we never... Continue Reading →

The Road to Ultimate Happiness from Within

I get it, I get it... So ultimate ‘happiness from within’ is reaching a state of complete non-dependency from all external emotional, physical and materialistic needs... Wait what?!? So in order to achieve that, we need to abstain from every craving we have! Or do we need to turn every craving to a mere want,... Continue Reading →

Do Parents really forgive? .. mine doesn’t!

They say parents are the most forgiving, and their love for you is unconditional, but I think the most hidden truth is that some parents do not forget their children’s fuck-ups no matter how much they change or make amends. Anytime something small slips, the whole history comes to surface. My mother remembers every single... Continue Reading →

Women are Horny..

Conventional wisdom says that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s, and there are several studies that state that. Whether this is true or not is beyond me. However ... i have been recently extra horny. In my late teens i experienced some similar state, but back then I did have the luxury to... Continue Reading →

Will you understand when I ask you to leave?

How will it be when I tell you to leave? Are going to be raging and angry and violent? Will you accuse and shame me for breaking us apart? Or will you understand? I picture your good byes and the blame in your eyes I imagine your pain and that i'd be breaking your heart... Continue Reading →

Lonely and Distant

I woke up lonely today... It's not that I don’t have friends or family... but I feel alone in my thoughts and alone in my dreams... I feel remote and distant from the world surrounding me, like I don’t belong. I don’t belong in this house, in this marriage, nor in this environment… I am... Continue Reading →

Smile More Mum…

I usually ask my daughters questions about how they view me to help me understand myself and my relationship with them better. Me: What does mummy need to do more of? My five year old, without hesitation, told me that I need to smile more. She is right. Smiling plays a very important role in... Continue Reading →

Two-Day Yoga Retreat

I packed my bags and left... didn’t listen to his insults nor his commands of not to go. I needed this for me. I needed to breath; inhale life without the burdens or anxieties. I needed to switch off from the ugliness and cleanse my mind to be able to survive the next phase of... Continue Reading →

The Girl in Rags

This barley 6 year old girl in rags is playing with a puppy and a stick... she then crosses the street and just sits there, gazing upon the one lane unpaved dirt road. What is her tiny mind thinking of, what is she aspiring to, why does she look so worried? Is she thinking of... Continue Reading →

Taking the Decision

In Paulo Coelho’s book, Adultery; a book about a women who has this supposedly perfect life, but apathetic about it, and starts an affair she says: “Today I am a woman torn between the terror that everything might change and the equal terror that everything might carry on exactly the same for the rest of... Continue Reading →

So what is it? An Affair-ish?

"Had we followed through with the plan.. it would have turned into an affair".. that's probably true! It got me thinking of what is an affair? Where is the line drawn? When should one start to feel guilty? With SEX!? According to Wikipedia "An affair is a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or passionate attachment between... Continue Reading →

Drawn to Him

With lust and attraction for him on my mind .. it’s getting harder and harder not to get to see him and talk to him ... to not want to kiss him every time we meet... I haven’t had that for anyone in the longest time and definitely not during my marriage. There’s this unexpected and... Continue Reading →

I’m still learning

I’m still learning how to not have expectations when u’re around I plan alone and try not think if ever u’re gonna join I see u make arrangements and wonder if u’ll ever ask me to come along   I’m still learning not to care Not to feel and not to show I’m still learning... Continue Reading →

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