Sex, as a refuge, blues

I have sex for all kinds of reasons, one of which is, of course, my relentless passionate desires and the love of sex and seduction itself. But I also find refuge in fucking... I have had sex when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I am angry or frustrated and when I’m confident and... Continue Reading →

Sex for my own Validation…

Following up on my last post Releasing my Sexual Energy with a Friend. He passed by again the following night… it was a much smoother conversation, albeit filled with sexual insinuations. Although, I had no idea how it was going to go, nonetheless, I did think about it and plan for it just in case... Continue Reading →

Pictures… Accepting my Sufferings

I was posting an Instagram story for a friend and found myself scrolling through old pictures. Without even noticing I found myself led to a very long trip down memory lane… 16 years of memories of our life together. If anyone saw them, they would probably swear that we were one of the happiest and... Continue Reading →

Cheers to all our memories…

This is how I feel now. I don’t know if this is going to change, or it’s only because I have pulled myself out of the drama for the past month, but hopefully not… because finally I reached a good place about all this. About a month ago, he opened fire on me. It was... Continue Reading →

Intense Callings

What’s the difference between liking someone and loving someone? What tips the scale... in family, is it the family bond? On a romantic level, is it physical attraction?… These questions triggered a whole insane therapy session, where I came to the knowledge that I don't really have those intense deep overwhelming feelings towards much in... Continue Reading →

Horrifying Memories Unraveling…

I lived my life thinking “what gives me the right to deserve anything since I haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile”. Whatever accomplishment I achieved I would belittle, whatever compliment I’d receive meant nothing, whatever milestone or hardship I would survive, was barely mediocre in comparison to the perfection I had to measure up to. However, over... Continue Reading →

I just was not into him…

A friend of mine passed by today to drop off a book; the same friend who I enjoyed flirting with and leading on a few months back. I haven’t seen him since the last time we kissed in his car and had no interest on doing so either, however a few days ago we started... Continue Reading →

A Car to Wait in…

As I was driving the kids back from training today, I started crying… I had already fed them right after training and put them in their PJs in the car, so they would fall asleep on their way back. I remembered an evening last winter; it was pouring rain and I was sitting in the... Continue Reading →

Maybe it’s time to Walk Away

He’s having a baby and I don't know how I should feel about it... I’m happy for him and for them. I’m happy that his family is growing and that his kid will have a sibling. We talked about sleepless nights and prams and delivery arrangements. We talked about pregnancies and kids and schools… I... Continue Reading →

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