Flashing the Delivery Guy…

Growing up and living in a third world country, I hated the fact that I would not be able to ever walk down the street without someone making some kind of sexual advances towards me, either looks or filthy innuendos. I have been harassed, hit on, groped, and given that I am going to fuck... Continue Reading →

What are you waiting for? Divorce him already!

People keep asking me why don’t I just divorce him already and get it over with... What are you waiting for? It's been three months since he moved out! They tend to assume that because I am not insisting and pushing for a divorce that I still want him, or that I am keeping the... Continue Reading →

Understanding Guilt…

Someone I got to know recently got me flowers yesterday… it was a thank you he said. Well, he didn't say why, but I think maybe for helping him out with a conversation he was afraid to have and/or maybe also because I got him to his first yoga class, which he dreaded to begin… I... Continue Reading →

A Narcissist’s Reaction to Separation…

Well I believe that all of us have traces of narcissistic traits, but some just have it so pronounced... My dear old husband texted me the other day and stayed texting for 8 hours… 8 continues hours of hateful messages filled with pain but stuffed with angry and extremely hurtful and insulting words, bringing up 12... Continue Reading →

I jumped…

I just held my breath and jumped… and for the past week I feel like I am still in the air… can barely grasp for air, it’s like oxygen refuses to go in, I feel disoriented and angry and scared and have no idea what is waiting for me at the bottom of that jump.... Continue Reading →

Flirting is Empowering…

For the first time ever…  I flirted my way into getting something done. Two days ago, I flirted my way into renewing my driver’s license, and if you have ever lived in a third world country you would know that bureaucracy and bribes are the heart of getting any paper done, let alone renewing a... Continue Reading →

Missing you Tonight…

I miss you... and it’s fucked-up I know, ‘cause you're not mine to miss or want or crave... but I do! I miss your scent, your touch and your smile.. I miss giving myself to you… and feel it melting I miss staring in your eyes without distress... I miss flirting and laughing and ...... Continue Reading →

His death was like Therapy.. May he rest in peace

It was the most shocking news I have ever received. He rides motorcycles, but no not an accident, did drugs, but no not an overdose, he wasn’t even sick nor overly stressed. Athletic, positive, family person, loved by all… Last year like today a good friend of mine passed away at 39 years old. He... Continue Reading →

Who will Witness who they Truly are…

It takes a village to raise a child. Although that might not necessarily be 100% true, it would sure be nice. When and if I do find it, any kind of help is always appreciated and welcomed in my book. However, help is not it... I would have truly loved to have a village or... Continue Reading →

Taking Turns…

It was both of our daughters’ school orientation and I was dreading the fact that I’d see him there. His wife was out of town, which meant he would come alone and I was going alone anyways... but as wired as I thought it would be and how many people I knew that were going... Continue Reading →

A Soothing Kiss

I decided to tone him off during the winter holidays... I was traveling with family and he with his... and it was the best opportunity to try make this lustful attachment fade out, because like he told me a few days before we left, “i’m trying really hard not fuck up our lives”. So yes,... Continue Reading →

True to Myself…

Some people have an affair to be someone else or live a different life... some are merely bored or pissed of a current situation… some want to live some kind of fantasy... and others are just compensating what they lack in their real lives... ... but in some cases, that someone else and that somewhere else,... Continue Reading →

He lives on a cloud of recklessness…

As I was skimming through my emails one morning before getting out of bed, I found tickets booked for a trip to Germany for all four of us, him, the kids and myself. We had talked about it very very briefly about a month ago... about the possibility of traveling and when the kids have... Continue Reading →

Married to an addict… apparently

One of my husband’s best friends called me today morning telling me that we need find a solution for my husband’s drug addition. For the longest time, I was trying to avoid this conversation with anyone or the actual fact that this problem exists; specially because this was one conversation I never thought I would... Continue Reading →

In his Car

We bumped into each other at a coffee place in the morning and we chatted for like an hour and then he said that he had to go... and although I was really tired just a minute before and all I could think of is a bed, but I'm stuck at the other side of... Continue Reading →

Parenting Jealousy

I definitely spend more time with the kids than their father and by default I am the one who gives the most orders and says the most Nos. I am also the most tired the majority of the time to do the fun happy-go-lucky entertainment, in which I tend to also include parenting, and drowned by... Continue Reading →

Married for the Kids…

Relationships, specially long-term ones are an investment... an investment of time, money, energy, trust, emotions..., and that is one of the reasons that couples dread getting out. It is devastating to call quits and file for bankruptcy, but if the investment is not yielding any of the required return, at one point one has to cut their... Continue Reading →

Married Single Parent … lost in that space in-between

Although we have been together for over a decade, raised children and shared a home, I don't believe we ever really had a marriage... we have never had a we or us relationship, never a unified position! It wasn't until recently that I was able to truly really admit that to myself that I have been waiting for this... Continue Reading →

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